'AITA for wanting to end my relationship with my boyfriend while he’s in a mental facility?'

A 40-year-old woman, posting under the username Most-Air-4605 on the AITA subreddit, shared a deeply personal dilemma regarding her relationship with her boyfriend, Charles, 44.

She explained that while she recognizes the need to end the relationship, she is unsure about the right timing and the consequences of her decision, especially given Charles' mental health struggles.

Woman struggles with ending relationship amid boyfriend’s mental health crisis

The OP described her relationship with Charles as initially fulfilling, following a challenging divorce. She stated that after years of self-doubt and rebuilding her life, she found happiness with Charles, who treated her well.

However, things started to change. "His character and behavior are now cynical and judgemental," she said, noting that Charles became increasingly critical of her past, her friendships, and her charitable donations.

The OP added, "This started when he found out that I invested in a friend's small business as a way to get passive income while I took some time off."

Her living situation also grew complicated after moving in with him, as his family, who were staying rent-free, repeatedly overstepped her boundaries.

She explained, "I feel like he emotionally pulled the rug on me by declaring war/hating on everything that has to do with my past ( he is very jealous of an ex boyfriend that I had years ago) and with things that matter to me."

"They took the breadsticks and sauce, and he was mad because I protested," she explained, recounting instances where her things were used without permission and her personal space was disrespected. This led to significant tension between them.

As Charles began battling depression after losing his job, the OP continued to support him, despite his increasingly harsh behavior, including insults and emotional confrontations.

She confessed to feeling emotionally drained: "I can't forgive because I love him and his words were cruel and humiliating, and they came from someone who was supposed to care about me."

Now, with Charles in a mental facility, she is facing a difficult decision. She expressed her concerns about his mental well-being but also feels overwhelmed and unable to continue the relationship.

Her best friend has encouraged her to "find another place to rent and leave him," warning that staying in this relationship may ultimately harm her own mental health. However, the poster is torn, feeling responsible for Charles' situation and unsure about ending things while he's in treatment.

Reddit community urges woman to prioritize her mental health

The Reddit community responded with advice, expressing concern for OP's well-being and offering their thoughts on how to navigate this emotionally complex situation. Many pointed out the importance of prioritizing her own mental health while recognizing Charles' struggles.

A user wrote, "FINISH IT. His family want him to move in with you so you have to deal with his mental illness. he is rude and abusive :-( please do a runner NTA."

Another added, "GET OUT NOW! You are allowing yourself to be emotionally abused and stalked! For God's sake break up and get away from him and his family! He needs professional help, nothing you can do."

The third commentator remarked, "You don’t owe him anything, the relationship wasn’t working before he went into the mental health facility and his family sound like a bunch of takers. My advice is to break it off. Do it now while he is in hospital and he will have the medical support he needs."

"NTAH. Mental illness isn't a free pass to be mean and controlling," said a supporter of the OP.

A person said, "NTA. YOU CANNOT FIX HIM. Do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Good luck. You deserve better."

Other chimed in, "NTA, you need to end this toxic relationship & move on & let him live his own life. Don't let them force you into staying with him. If you still own your own home move back there & end this now while you still can. Listen to what shes saying."

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