'AITA for warning my GF and mom that I'll disappear from their lives if they force me to abandon my dog?'

Pets are often called “man’s best friend,” however, they become a lightning rod for disagreements in relationships sometimes.

A Reddit user, a man aged 29, took to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum to share his heartfelt story about his dog, his girlfriend, and the challenges of navigating love and loyalty.

Man questions relationship as girlfriend avoids taking responsibility for their dog

“My girlfriend [F26] always wanted to adopt a dog; I [M29] didn’t since I had a dog for 14 years, and it broke my heart when my dog passed away,” the original poster (OP) began.

Despite his initial reluctance, love and compromise led him to give in. “After some time together, 3 years, we adopted a dog, who’s a pup of her family’s dogs,” he continued.

But what started as a gesture of love soon became a heavy burden. “My dog has always been a handful since he was a wee pup, only listening to me and no one else,” he explained. Adding to the complexity was their living situation, “My girlfriend and I do not live together, but we stay very close to each other. My mother lives with me (I own the house).”

As the dog grew, so did the challenges of ownership, and it became clear that the responsibility wasn’t being shared equally. “Despite being mainly my GF’s desire to get a dog, she never stepped up to the responsibilities of dog ownership, be it financial or otherwise,” he revealed.

The man's frustration was palpable. "Every time I was asking her to contribute by paying his food or even walking him, she would sigh before saying yes."

In contrast, he threw himself into his role as the dog’s primary caregiver. “I would be spending 4-5 hours each day with my dog; walking him for 10km per day and playing with him.” But even the most dedicated pet parent can only handle so much. “About a month ago, we sent him for training,” he shared, hoping that professional help could make life easier for everyone involved. Those hopes came crashing later.

Man still stands his ground after trainer labels dog 'untrainable'

“A couple of days ago, the trainer made us go down to the K9 training centre only to tell us that the dog is untrainable and I should get him out of there immediately (ofc I paid for it),” he wrote.

The trainer’s reasoning? “The trainer said my dog is untrainable due to the fact that he hasn’t acclimated to the training centre after a month being there and that he requires two people (women) to walk him because he pulls a lot. He is very willful; literally no other person than me can make him change his mind,” the OP revealed.

This left him with a difficult choice. “When it came to decide what to do next—send him to another trainer or keep him home with its current amount of training (basic commands that I taught him when he was a pup)—both my mother and girlfriend made it quite clear that their lives were better without the dog,” the man shared.

But the man wasn’t ready to give up. “For the former, I made it clear from the start that ‘my house, my rules,’ and for the latter, I made clear that ‘she wanted a dog and never stepped up to the role.’”

Their pushback didn’t change his mind. Instead, it fueled his determination. “I told them that abandoning that dog, probably to a farmer since he’s a working breed, would be equivalent to tearing a limb off me,” the OP continued.

“I told them that in case I am forced to abandon my dog, I would sell everything off and disappear (I work remotely, so it’s very easy for me to do).”

“He hasn’t bitten anyone, but unfortunately, when he was younger, he might have chewed a couple of slippers and shoes (and even one of my favorite sweaters), but nothing like that for the past six months,” the man said after he was left wondering if he had been too harsh.

Internet backs man for taking a stand for dog and declares him 'NTA'

Caught between the expectations of his girlfriend and his mother, and his own unwavering loyalty to his four-legged friend, the man’s story sparked a passionate debate online.

One Reddit user said, "NTA. Pets are like family, and girlfriends can be replaced."

Another user chimed in, "Yeah, OP gotta stay strong here, dogs are known as man's best friend better keep the energy."

One person remarked, "True that! A loyal dog is forever, but a supportive partner should be too."

Someone else noted, "NTA, ur dog is your responsibility, but it's also your heart. They pushed for this, now expect you to betray your bond? Stay firm."

One individual stated, "NTA As a previous dog trainer, I would never recommend places that board and train. You, as the owner, need to be trained alongside the dog so you work together as a team. I would suggest you find another trainer that will work with you and the dog. Sometimes the most wilful dogs are the easiest to train once you find the dog's drive.

And chewing shoes and other items is something that pretty much all young dogs do."

Another declared, "NTA. Reconsider your partnership with your gf entirely. From this matter alone: She badgered you into making a 15 year commitment you didn't want just because she wanted it. She is lazy, entitled, and doesn't pull her weight financially or effort-wise. She casts her responsibilities onto you. She doesn't think through her decisions and refuses to accept the consequences of her mistakes. She is willing to demand that you give up something that means a great deal to you and hurt you beyond words for her convenience. Seems like a terrible choice for a partner, someone you're meant to be able to rely on and who actually cares about and respects you."

Another observed, "NTA I would reconsider your relationship with your GF. She wanted the dog, you didn’t. When you got the dog she didn’t step up. Now she wants you to get rid of the dog she wanted… this is a preview of your future with her as a partner. I can’t imagine what having kids would be like."

One person explained, "Honestly, I get why you’re upset. Your girlfriend and family didn’t really put in the work, and now they’re acting like you’re the problem? It’s frustrating. But maybe think about the long-term implications of your actions too. I get that the dog is important, but I hope you can find a way to balance things out without burning bridges. Either way, NTA, your loyalty to the dog is clear."

"NTA Good grief why is she your gf? She has shown you that the dog is your responsibility. My ex and I bought a dog together. When he goes into the office 3 days a week I sit with our dog because he has separation anxiety. Even though we are divorced we got the dog together so I feel like he's my responsibility too. I would never abandon a dog I chose to bring home," another comment read. 

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.