‘AITA if I ask roommate to pay half the household bills because they threw my stuff away without asking?’

A Redditor has expressed frustration after their generosity was met with disrespect by their roommate.

Initially, the roommate was supposed to pay 90% of half the rent, but the situation took a turn when the roommate threw away over 500 of the OP's cherished books without permission or communication. 

Feeling betrayed, the OP considered increasing the roommate's share of the household expenses. However, the OP now questions whether it was the right course of action. Was this the best response to the breach of trust?

OP expresses frustration after roommate throws books into dumpster

A Reddit user named SarcaStephy posted in the 'Am I The A**hole' section, questioning their own actions. They explained that their roommate contributes 90% of half the rent, while they cover the rest of the bills, including "water, gas, internet, and electricity", because they earn more. 

The user went on to describe their personal belongings stored in the room— "primarily books". They had a fully furnished room with their own furniture, including a large bed and a heavy bookshelf, holding around 500 books in boxes and bags. 

The OP explained, "I always intended to go through them, pick out my favorites, and donate or sell the rest, but due to my ADHD and object impermanence, I kept pushing it off. In the long run, I envisioned turning the room into a closet/library after they moved out since I prefer having my clothes visible rather than stored away."

The user then shared a troubling event: "Last year, I came home to find my bookshelf outside by the dumpsters. I immediately told my roommate to put it back in the room because they had no right to throw away my belongings. If they had asked, I would have found another place for it, but I was so frustrated that I insisted they return it to the room without offering an alternative solution."

The OP continued, "I recently hired someone to help clean my apartment when work gets too busy. They offered to organize my cabinets, which reminded me to finally sort through my books—only to be told that my roommate had thrown them all away months ago." 

The OP revealed, "Over 500 books—hardcover, paperback, large, small, books I had kept since middle school—just gone. They never asked, never mentioned feeling uncomfortable with them in the closet, never gave me a chance to move them. They simply decided to discard decades of my history without my permission."

The OP expressed their frustration, saying, "I was so upset that I haven’t spoken to them in over a week. It’s not just about the books—it’s about the complete lack of respect for my things."

The OP wanted to kick the roommate out but taking into consideration the legal complexities of tenancy and eviction, they instead decided not to continue paying for the bulk of the household bills.

The OP concluded, "I’ve drafted a document that evenly splits all household expenses, which will increase their contribution by at least $500. WIBTA if I taped it to their door? This isn’t the arrangement we originally agreed upon when they moved in, but at this point, I feel that if they can blatantly disrespect my belongings, they no longer deserve my generosity."

Redditors suggest OP 'evict' roommate for throwing away their belongings

After hearing about the OP's situation, where their roommate threw away their belongings without permission and the OP decided to raise the roomate's share of expenses beyond the initial agreement, several Redditors showed their support for the OP. 

One user wrote, "NTA. Even after raising their rent amount to split the bills, you’d still be generous by not suing them for the cost of all 500+ books they just threw away without telling you."

Another person commented, "NTA. And this isn't a roommate. This is a user. You basically pay all the bills for them to mooch off you then throw away your property. Not just no, but hell no. Tell them they have 30 days to get out!" 

One Redditor declared, "Not the a**hole and you should actually file the police report for the theft and destruction of property and get them evicted immediately."

A person said, "NTA, evict them and consider reporting the theft."

A comment read, "NTA you need to move to evict. Do it the right way, this is not going to get better and if you ask for more you might wind up with a squatter. File to evict and get the ball rolling to regain your peace."

This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online