'AITA if I want to kick my dad out because he won't lose weight?'

Taking care of a loved one isn’t always just about providing for them as it became apparent for one man who had been supporting his father for years, covering all the bills and trying to help him regain his health.

But after watching his dad fall back into unhealthy habits, he made a difficult choice: get back on track with weight loss or find somewhere else to live. Thereafter, the Original Poster (OP) took to Reddit's popular 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA) forum, wondering, "WIBTA if I kicked my dad out because he won't lose weight?"

A father's lifelong struggle with weight and health

A few years ago, OP's father was diagnosed with kidney cancer. At the time, he weighed over 500 pounds, a struggle he had dealt with his entire life. He even underwent gastric bypass surgery, but it didn’t go as planned.

OP wrote in his post, “He’s been big his whole life and got the gastric bypass but didn’t do the diet right.” Seeing his father’s health and finances spiraling, the son took action.

“I moved him in with me 3 years ago to help him work on his weight and finances since he’s on SSI and makes ~$1000/month. I pay all of the bills and everything, including the house, is in my name,” he added.

For a while, things seemed to improve. His father managed to lose 50 pounds, working toward a goal of 350. But progress didn’t last.

Son gives 500-pound father an ultimatum

Despite initial weight loss, his father eventually gave up. “He got down to about 450 a year ago, his goal is 350, then gave up and started eating and stopped exercising,” OP stated.

With his weight climbing back to 500 pounds, his health issues worsened, leaving his son to deal with the consequences.

He disclosed, “Recently he was back up to 500 lbs and it causes a lot of health issues that I have to help with.” Feeling exhausted and financially stretched, the son decided to set a firm boundary.

“The other day I told him he needs to get down to 450 by the end of June or get out,” he revealed.  The demand seemed to light a fire under his father—he had already lost five pounds in a week. But was it just temporary?

“I know he can’t afford to live on his own, but I eat close to $200/month additional costs and he typically does next to nothing around the house and eats 1.5 to 2x what I eat,” said OP.

In the past two weeks, his father had been a model roommate, "but it never lasts.”  Then, he was wondering—"Would I be wrong to stand my ground on this?"

The Internet declares: NTA

The online reaction was intense, as several felt OP was justified, arguing that enabling his father’s unhealthy lifestyle wasn’t helping anyone.

One Reddit user chimed in, "As a fat man myself, you are NTA. You don't owe anything to your father you didn't choose to be born. I weigh over and yeas every fifty lbs above that really has massive effects on mobility. If he can't stop eating, he needs to go to a facility that will take care of him, and I he would also lose weight. You have your own life to live. And you are trying to help your dad not be his caretaker."

Another added, "NTA. At a certain point you are enabling an addict."

Someone else noted, "You’re NTA…if your dad isn’t wanting to take care of himself…that’s on him. You need to take care of yourself first. If you can’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of others…especially if they don’t want to. Granted he is your dad…but he is an adult and sounds like he’s taking advantage of you and your kindness. It’s sounds like you’ve been dealing with this for a while and your decision isn’t an easy one. You can’t let him drag you down and ruin your life. It’s good you set him a reasonable timeline. Eating addictions and self abuse mental illnesses are real and they won’t change if they don’t want to."

A viewer remarked, "NTA but I don't think you should kick him out cold turkey, maybe you can make a plan together for him go move out."

One comment declared, "You can't help someone who refuses to WANT to get better. They have to want the help and want to get better before they actually accept the damn help, and get better. Anything before that is just a bandaid, it's temporary. NTA. But, is there a facility that could help him? There's a few that help extremely obese people with mobility issues and co-morbidities, so everything gets addressed."

Another observed, "Nta- to add to what many other commentor's are discussing, many people don't treat obesity in men as an eating disorder, but there's usually a mental component to get to that size. Also, don't make threats you aren't prepared to follow through on, so know eviction laws near you. And be prepared if he fails your ultimatum."

As one person explained, "NTA. You aren't responsible for parenting your parent."

"NTA, but not because you're "enabling an addict" or any of that stupid b******t. You just don't really owe anything to anyone and aren't obliged to keep him under your roof. I would help him find a new place instead of just throwing him out, but no, you aren't an a**hole for not wanting him there," another comment read.

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.