AITA: Internet supports ‘unforgiving’ mom for cutting ties with sister over her daughter’s nasty behavior

No one wants to miss their sister's wedding but in this case, there is a mother-of-two who has been lauded online for declining her sister’s wedding invitation. 

Recently, a woman asked the Reddit community whether she is at fault for “shutting” her sister out of her family’s life. She, however, gives a detailed description of how her sister’s daughter has wreaked havoc on the lives of the OP’s children, which led the online community to side with her.

Taking to the AITA Subreddit forum, the woman shared that her niece’s hateful behavior toward her children has further inspired her to cut ties with her sister.

Redditor speaks about her niece’s abhorrent behavior toward her children

The original poster (OP) started her post by asking, “AITAH for shutting my sister out of my family’s lives and declining her wedding invitation?”

She went on to detail the reasons that caused the chasm between the two sisters, as she said, “Five years ago, my niece Nicky and her friends ridiculed and harassed my son Marc. They speculated about his sexuality, called him slurs, and even used the N-word with a hard R—all for their entertainment.”

The alleged bullying left a lasting impression on Marc as when he went home he was “crying, shaking, and yelling” while trying to narrate to his mother the incident. The distraught mother wrote, “It was heartbreaking.”

The OP shared that she immediately reached out to her sister to “address the issue” and expected her to take the necessary steps. 

“I explained Marc’s side of the story and the state he was in, but she dismissed it,” shared the OP, but her sister claimed her daughter and her friends would "never act that way".

"She didn’t even offer to talk to Nicky.”

“This wasn’t an isolated incident,” wrote the Redditor, before sharing, “A few months before, Nicky kicked Marc in the genitals in front of her friends as a "joke."”

But when she demanded an “explanation and an apology,” she was refused again, with Nicky creating a scene and claiming “it was "unfair" to hold her accountable—even as Marc was still in pain.

The author continued, “Nicky also has a history of mean-spirited behavior, such as calling my younger son Cory (then 6 years old) “The Annoying Child” instead of his name. Cory has asked me why she does this and shared how much it upsets him.”

The OP’s sister not only refused to help the OP but also - somewhat - shielded one of Nicky’s friends - “the one who used the N-word” - could not “possibly be racist because she’s Mexican.”

“Her exact words were, “I don’t know what you want me to do about this,”” wrote the OP, before adding, “That was the final straw for me.”

Taking matters into her hands, the Redditor decided to distance her family from her sister’s as she shared, “I told her that if she wasn’t willing to address the issue, it was in my family’s best interest to distance ourselves.”

“Three days later, she called me, said she spoke to Nicky, and told me, “We’re good on my end.” No details, no resolution, just that. When I followed up via email asking what was discussed and what actions would be taken, she never responded,” added the author. 

She clarified, “To this day, no apology has been offered—not from my sister, Nicky, or the other kids involved.”

She further noted that when she informed their extended family about the situation, while some were supportive, some tried to “undermine” her boundary. 

Moreover, her own mother, grandmother to both the OP’s sons and Nicky, refused to accept her desire to maintain a boundary. 

“One time, my mom secretly took my kids to spend time with my sister’s family without my permission,” noted the OP, before adding, “I only found out because my younger son mentioned it. I was furious and drove an hour to pick them up immediately.”

“Fast forward to today: I’ve received criticism for maintaining this boundary. My sister is now getting married and invited us to the wedding, but I declined. My mother even asked if she could take my kids to the wedding, and I flatly said no,” added the author. 

Despite everything, the OP said that, “There has been no effort from my sister to apologize or reconcile.”

She only reached out once to add the OP to a group chat, but did not mention anything about “the harm she caused.”

“I’m standing firm in my decision to protect my kids, but I’ve been labeled as overly harsh and unforgiving,” wrote the OP, before asking, “AITAH?”

Internet supports woman for declining sister's wedding invitation

The Internet was supportive of the Redditor who shared her problematic relationship with her sister. While all the netizens declared the OP to be 'NTA', they were not so forgiving about her mother and sister.

"NTA - if you go and something happens, you know your sister won't do anything to remedy the issue and you'll need to take matters into your own hands - which is exactly why you should not go," declared one of the social media users. 

Someone else added, "As a parent, your priority is to protect your child, and that includes shielding him from people who enable or condone such harmful behavior."

"And if something happens at the wedding and drama ensues, you and your family are going to be to blame," chimed in another Redditor, before suggesting, "Send one final statement to the family, detailing the abuse and lack of accountability; make sure they understand that blood isn't family if there's no respect. Then block them! You are doing the right thing! NTA<3."

Another Redditor called out the grandmother, saying, "NTA your mother is the worst grandmother around. What kind of grandparent takes a child back to their abuser?"

"NTA. Your sister blatantly refused to address the issue when her kids are her responsibility. Sure, its not her responsibility for how their friends act towards him, but she should have at least spoken to their parents about it. All it shows is how immature she is at handling such things," declared another user, before adding, "Dealing with behaviour in children these days is so much harder, I will admit, but that doesn't mean its ok to just ignore it entirely. Good for you for sticking up for your children."

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