AITA: Man asks if he's wrong for requesting wife to wear hairnet while cooking and Internet isn't pleased

A man didn't receive the support he might have expected after he shared if he did the right thing by asking his wife to wear a hairnet while cooking on an internet forum. The individual, who goes by the username lohojok, claimed in his Reddit post that he had found his spouse's hair in his meals several times, which led him to the decision.

Taking to Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" subreddit, the person wrote, "So, here’s the situation. My wife loves to cook, and I truly appreciate her meals—they’re delicious. However, her hair keeps getting in the food."

The man revealed that his wife’s hair is long and that he's discovered "at least one strand in every meal."

He also disclosed that he tried telling her a few times via different methods, like "saying stuff like, 'Oh, looks like your hair wanted to join dinner,' but it hasn’t made much of a difference."

Reddit user didn't specify if he talked to his wife about the problem directly

The man, however, did not mention in his Reddit post if he directly addressed the problem with her.

"Finally, I decided to ask her to wear a hairnet while cooking. I figured it was a practical solution," the Reddit user stated as he revealed that his move left his wife "upset." She reportedly told him that it made her feel "embarrassed and gross."

He went on to say that he didn't intend to hurt his wife. He further wrote, "I just don’t love finding hair in my food. She says I’m overreacting and should just deal with it since it’s not that big of a deal. I think it’s a simple request to improve both of our dining experience."

The man admitted that he was now second-guessing his decision because he did not "want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t think I’m being unreasonable."

Redditors call the hairnet idea 'insensitive' 

The person received over a thousand comments from his fellow Reddit users, and most of them weren't pleased with how he approached his wife.

A comment on the post read, "She is right - a hairnet would be crappy. A ponytail, on the other hand, would be both cute and practical. Or a ponytail plus a bandana tied as a headscarf."

Another user commented, "NAH is it ok that she takes no precautions when she cooks? NOPE. I have very long hair and a lot of it, and I solve it just wearing a bun or braid while cooking. Asking to do something with her hair is ok, but suggesting a hairnet is very insensitive, as if you asked her to wear gloves while cooking… suggests that you’re disgusted by her. Also, just for you to think about it… since her cooking is so good, is she the person who ALWAYS cook? Did you try cooking yourself? Very often when a person does always a chore becomes invisible for others and goes unappreciated, MAYBE it can feel like ‘I put every single day all of this effort, and he just complains about it while being served’, it is NOT a rational answer , but an emotional one. I suggest maybe you cook for her, or you cook WITH her."

"I think it would be more reasonable to ask her to put it up (maybe even brush it out first) just in a pony or bun. It's normal to throw your hair up when cooking for others. I do think a hairnet is a little, well, extra," suggested a user. 

One more said, "A hairnet is something that a cook in a restaurant is required to wear. I think you inadvertently made her feel like you were ordering your cook/employee to put on a hairnet. Soft YTA for the approach to resolving the problem."

An angry individual fired, "YTA—kinda. A hairnet? Really? Really?!? You couldn’t have found a kinder way to ask her to put it in a bun or a pony tail? You went straight to lunch lady. And as hard working and utterly fabulous as they are (and they are! Underpaid, too!!), the hairnet is not their most attractive attribute. Are you going to ask your wife to make sure she changes her gloves between taking cash at the register and handling food, too? And make sure the sanitizer solution is at the right ratio as well? It’s not a restaurant, it’s her HOME. For goodness sake. Have some tact."

"ESH. There’s a middle ground - why doesn’t she just pull her hair back? Even if a hair ends up in there - who cares?? It’s not some stranger’s hair. Hair isn’t particularly gross or germy. You interact with her lost hair, shed skin cells, and all other biological matter every second of every day. One hair in the food isn’t a big deal. Your wife doesn’t need to wear a hair net like some line cook," remarked another person. 

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