'Congress’ new dairy campaign': Stephen Colbert hilariously trolls 'milk debate' in House

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: On December 15 epsidoe of 'The Late Show With Stephen Colbert', the host humorously congratulated House Republicans for their lack of accomplishments in 2023.

Representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene and Derek van Orton engaged in a debate about milk, with van Orton's Graphics Department being brought into the conversation as being made up of mammals that were "milked" for their work.

Colbert also mocked their focus on advancing an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden without evidence of wrongdoing during their final work days of the year.

'Smothered in an enigma sauce'

To provide context, amid pressing legislative priorities like a government funding bill, emergency aid to Ukraine and Israel, and potential immigration reforms, House Republicans dedicated Wednesday to passionately defending the importance of whole milk, specifically for Santa Claus.

Rep Virginia Foxx (R-NC) argued on the House floor that Santa required the nutritional benefits of whole milk for his Christmas journey, claiming it helps with muscle-building for the demanding task of delivering gifts worldwide in one night.

Colbert would have a field day with this one! 

In his monologue, the 'Late Show' host played a clip of Rep Foxx, saying, "We want only the most nutritional option for Santa. Whole milk is the unsung hero of his Christmas journey.”

Colbert jumped on the opportunity to humorously point out that Rep Foxx may have been a bit off in equating the effects of dairy with amphetamines.

"Santa Claus needs to drink whole milk to travel the whole globe in one night,” she said.

She continued, “Protein helps build and repair Santa’s muscles. Hoisting heavy sacks of gifts up and down the chimney is no easy task.”

Colbert played Rep Ralph Norman's remarks on the impeachment inquiry on President Joe Biden, where the South Carolina Republican asserted that individuals cannot claim innocence and "not have to prove it".

Colbert responded enthusiastically, stating, "Yes. Yes, you literally can. That’s important; it’s called 'innocent until proven guilty,'" before humorously imitating Norman once more.

He quipped, "This guy doesn’t understand the law at all. 'Miranda rights? No way, I’m more of a Samantha'".

Colbert explains 'Congress’ new dairy campaign'

Colbert extended his roast of the House GOP by mocking Republican lawmakers for prioritizing what he sarcastically referred to as "the nation’s most pressing issue": passing a bill allowing schools to serve whole milk in cafeterias.

“I mean, what are the chances of that passing? I mean 1%, 2%,” he said.

“It’s all part of Congress’ new dairy campaign: got anything that’ll distract people from our incompetence?’”

The exchange turned humorous when van Orton's Graphics Department was brought up as being made up of mammals that were milked for their work. In a surprising moment, Oprah Winfrey made an appearance to welcome Stephen back from his surgery and promote her movie, 'The Color Purple', which is opening in theaters on Christmas day.

The audience was excited and encouraged to get their tickets to the movie as the segment ended with upbeat music playing in the background.