'AITA for wanting to leave my husband because he’s chronically unemployed?'

When it comes to messy relationship dilemmas, Reddit’s “Am I The A*****e” (AITA) forum never disappoints—and this one’s a doozy.

A woman, 34, took to the internet’s go-to court of opinion, asking if she was wrong for wanting to leave her husband, 37, over his chronic unemployment.

Titled “AITA for wanting to leave my husband because he is unemployed?” her Reddit post spilled all the tea about her struggles in the relationship.

From teenage lovebirds to marriage struggles

The Original Poster (OP) kicked things off by painting a picture of a relationship spanning decades. She and her husband met when she was just 13. They dated briefly in her teens, but it didn’t stick. Fast forward to 2016, and the stars seemed to align. Both single, they reconnected, fell in love, and tied the knot.

“At the time, he had just been discharged from the army and wasn’t working, but I had a stable job at a bank,” OP explained. Despite family concerns over his unemployment, they powered through. By 2018, they had a baby boy, and things seemed to fall into place. Both had jobs, they split expenses, and life was good—at least for a while.

Things started unraveling in late 2020 when her husband lost his job after clashing with his boss. For a while, OP took on the household’s entire financial burden. She described stepping up as her husband struggled to find his footing. By 2021, he landed a new job and they resumed splitting expenses, but it wasn't for long.

In late 2022, it happened again—he lost his job, but this time, he didn’t even tell her. “I only found out when I noticed his odd behavior—he would leave bed but not actually go anywhere,” she wrote. Trying to support him emotionally, she took on even more responsibilities, especially after they had to transfer their son, who has autism, to a specialized school.

By mid-2023, OP was carrying the family financially — while her husband seemed to stumble from one job to the next, quitting or getting fired each time.

“Since February 2024, he’s claimed to work at his dad’s pub, but he mostly stays home playing video games or watching movies,” she shared. "I’ve been footing all the bills while also dealing with immense stress at work, to the point of having nervous breakdowns. When I ask him about his plans, he gives me the silent treatment. He’s a wonderful father to our son, but when I’m around, the parenting still falls mostly on me because he says it’s exhausting to do it all day."

OP’s post revealed a woman at the end of her rope. “I don’t feel supported financially, emotionally, or practically,” she confessed. “I’ve been carrying the weight of this relationship for years, and I’m tired.” While she still loves her husband and admires his role as a father, she feels the relationship is one-sided.

"I love my husband, but I don’t see any empathy or willingness to change. AITA for wanting to leave him?" she asked.

The internet chimes in

Redditors wasted no time sharing their thoughts, and let’s just say OP got a whole lot of “NTA” (Not The A*****e) judgments.

"NTA - he seems to like being supported vs being a partner," one posted.

"NTA for wanting to leave, but have you talked to him about this? Did you tell him it’s unacceptable to not tell u when he’s laid off? Have you told him it’s a dealbreaker if he doesn’t get a full-time job?" another asked.

"NTA, but I think what your husband really needs is some therapy... this is not normal behavior. If he refuses therapy or counseling, then give him a good kick in the a** and tell him to get out," someone else insisted.

"NTA. My kids dad was the same way. Quit jobs and spent time on the computer, telling people he was self-employed, lied about having a job, etc. I divorced him," read a comment.

"NTA. You're taking care of two kids now, so leaving one so he can grow up will be in the best interests of everyone involved," another chimed in.

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.