Billie Eilish opens up on her mental health struggles, says she doesn't want her depression to get better

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Billie Eilish shared her battle with depression as she shed light on the depths of her emotional struggles.

On Wednesday, April 24, the 'Bad Guy' singer spoke to Rolling Stone about her experience with debilitating depression as she wrote in her journal, "I know I’m lucky/But I’m so unhappy."

Billie Eilish says she has 'never been a happy person'

Speaking about her mental health struggles, Eilish said, "It was just realer than it’s ever been before."

“My whole life, I’ve never been a happy person, really. I’ve been a joyous person, but not a happy person," she continued.

"I experience joy and laughter and I can find fun in things, but I’m a depressed person. I’ve suffered with a lot of depression my whole life," she added.

“When things happen in my soul, or whatever, the thing I’ve always held on to is, ‘Well, it’ll pass. It’ll come in waves and it’ll get worse and it’ll get better.’ And that’s always brought me comfort. And this time, I literally was like, ‘I don’t care. I don’t even want it to get better.’” she continued.

The pop star credited her parents Maggie Baird and Patrick O'Connell, brother Finneas O'Connell, and best friend Zoe Donahoe for their unwavering support throughout her difficult time.

As she grappled with her mental health, Eilish acknowledged a profound lack of genuine experiences as she has been spending her time at home, secluded from the world for several years.

“I hit a turning point,” she shared.

"I had this moment of like, ‘Oh, my God, I haven’t had fun in seven years.’ Truly. I had this illusion that I had, because who experiences going to the Grammys at basically 17 and winning five? But in life, I realized I had really not experienced that much," she said.

"I didn’t go outside for five years. How was I supposed to have any experiences?" the singer reflected.

Billie Eilish says 'being seen and being filmed' is scary

Starting with simple outings to the grocery store and gradually expanding to attending parties and concerts, she began exploring the outside world.

However, venturing out had its challenges. "I’m afraid. For a f*****g good reason. I’m afraid of people, I’m afraid of the world," Eilish admitted.

"It’s just scary for somebody like me, and even if it’s not scary, it means being on and being vulnerable and being seen and being filmed and whatever," she added.

"But with that all in mind, I have been choosing to do the thing that scares me more. I am biting the bullet and existing in the world for once," she shared.