'AITA for sternly telling a man I just met at a party that I'm not a therapist and walking away?'

Sometimes, you just have to set boundaries - and this woman certainly did when a late-night chat took a weird turn.

Sharing her story on Reddit’s famed "Am I The A*****e" (AITA) forum, the original poster (OP) detailed an awkward encounter at a small gathering that left her questioning if she handled it the right way.

She opened a thread titled “AITA for very sternly telling some dude I just met that I’m not a therapist and then just leaving the conversation?”

A smoke break that took a creepy turn

The OP, a 27-year-old woman, attended a friend’s intimate get-together - just 10 people hanging out. Around 1 am, she stepped outside to smoke and enjoy a moment alone. But soon, a man she’d just met that night (who she estimated was in his 30s) joined her outside.

“At first, we were just chatting, trying to be quiet so we didn’t disturb the neighbors,” OP wrote. But things quickly took a wrong turn.

“He starts laying it on me, talking about how much his life sucks and that it’s good to be around people. I was just stuck awkwardly listening to him, giving generic answers like, ‘Ah yeah, that sucks,’” she explained.

Then, the man’s comments got even weirder. “He started saying creepy things like, ‘I hadn’t been with a woman in five years,’ and even told me his child was aborted because his ex didn’t want to have his baby. Like, bruh… I don’t need to know this info,” she continued.

Feeling increasingly uncomfortable, the OP decided to head back inside. But when she stood up, the man tried to stop her and said, “I thought we were having a nice conversation, kinda hard to talk inside.”

That’s when OP had enough. She responded bluntly, “Dude, I’m not a therapist. I just came out to see my friend (the host)—like, I get you’re having a rough go at it, but honestly, I kinda see why girls don’t want to be around you if this is what you talk about on the first meeting. Nice meeting you, though.”

And with that, she walked back inside. The man didn’t rejoin the party and the OP assumed he’d gone home. The next morning, however, her friend — the party’s host — texted her saying she shouldn’t have been so harsh.

"My friend texts me the morning after saying that I shouldn't have said what I said to his friend since he's apparently really bummed out now and asked for my side of the story," OP recalled, adding "I tell him what was described above and he still says I shouldn't have told him that I didn't have to 'knock him down a few pegs' since apparently it took my friend a lot of convincing to get the other dude to come out."

Feeling conflicted, the OP turned to Reddit for answers. "Wanted some outside perspective here, AITA?" she asked.

The internet chimes in on OP's post

Redditors overwhelmingly sided with OP, and the consensus was that she was NTA in this situation.

"NTA. As a female, you know what is best for your safety and security. It sounds like you were getting creepy vibes and you deliberately laid it into him so that there is no misunderstanding from you that you are not interested in engaging him in any capacity. You may have come out as harsh but at least he knows where you stand. Women got to be proactive with their safety," one posted.

"NTA. His behavior was cruel. He was manipulating social etiquette to put you into an uncomfortable situation. You refused to put up with that... after humoring him for a while. He needs to learn to treat other people better, even if he's having a tough time of things. You also were helpful in pointing out that he should be unloading these things to a therapist," another wrote.

"NTA. Your friend gave you the 'you should have been nice' lecture? Does he even know how many women find themselves in really terrible situations because of society's expectations they should be 'nice' even when facing f***ing creeps?" someone else wondered.

"NTA. It’s weird and it puts you in an uncomfortable position. You wouldn’t have had to tell him all that if he hadn’t stopped you trying to go back in. You’re not a therapist or an emotional support person, you’re a stranger and it’s uncomfortable and unfair to be locked into talking to a person that makes you uncomfortable just to spare their feelings. Your 'friend' needs to get a f***ing grip," read a comment.

"NTA. If he doesn't want to be treated like a creepy AH, he needs to stop acting like one. He isn't owed attention from you or anyone else," another chimed in.

OP shares update

OP later shared an update thanking Reddit for their support and revealing that her friend — the host — had found her post. Realizing the situation’s full context, he called to apologize.

“We talked it out, and he apparently didn’t know the extent of what his friend was talking about since I gave a very short version through text,” she explained. “Just wanted to say thank you again for all your responses.” 

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