Mel B opens up on healing from abusive relationship, says 'it’s not as easy as some people may think'

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Melanie “Mel B” Brown has still not fully healed from domestic violence and, unfortunately, she still suffers from PTSD, six years after she separated from her abusive husband.

The 'Spice Girls' member put out an expanded version of her memoir 'Brutally Honest' which details all she has endured since readers last heard from her.

Mel B opens up on her life after moving on from her previous relationship

“I think it’s so important to honestly say what happens when you leave abuse, because it’s not as easy as some people may think," Brown told People. 

“For example, my mother would say, ‘What’s wrong with you? You’re fine now. You’ve left him.’ And I’d be going, ‘Yeah, but now I’ve got to pick up the pieces and I’ve got to deal with the shame and the guilt, and I want to protect my kids.’ And I don’t want to block out what happened because I did that for a little bit, and you get PTSD,” she explained.

The 48-year-old star first released 'Brutally Honest' in 2018 that chronicled her allegedly abusive 10-year marriage to producer Stephen Belafonte.

The 'Scary Spice' star spoke about the enormity of the trauma she is affected with over the three new chapters. She also focused on memorable moments which include the 'Spice Girls' 2019 UK tour and falling in love with her fiance Rory McPhee. She also included a list of signs to look out for when it comes to domestic violence.

Mel B said she thought of committing suicide 

Mel B called the writing of the new chapters “quite cathartic” though reliving dark days wasn’t always easy. Brown penned that she considered taking her own life in 2020 and struggled financially after returning home to Leeds after the 'Spice Girls' tour wrapped.

“Trauma from abuse never goes. So you need to be able to recognize it, be kind to yourself and just quiet that voice, which you can do,” she said, adding “You have to just basically say to yourself, ‘It’s not your fault and he was the problem, not you.’ And you just have to heal yourself. And that’s going to be a lifetime, a long journey for me.”

Mel B was appointed Member of the Order of the British Empire in 2022

Since publishing 'Brutally Honest', Brown has leaned into her work as a patron of Women’s Aid, a domestic violence survivors’ charity in the UK. She was even appointed Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) for her advocacy in 2022.

“I got my MBE not for being a 'Spice Girl.' I mean, Prince William was like, ‘Where’s everybody else?’ I’m like, ‘No, it’s just me!’ And he’s like, ‘Oh yeah, because of your advocating and campaigning for domestic abuse and trying to stop it and changing laws.’ He was like, ‘That’s brilliant,’” she recalled.

“I just want to educate young kids [on] what a healthy relationship looks like. I want to educate the justice system and just make it a safer place and a safer world for us women and our kids,” she added.

Brown’s three children (Phoenix, 25, Angel, 16, and Madison, 12) have been on the journey with her and Phoenix has even begun doing similar work, going into schools and speaking with children. The singer said that the “best thing” she does with her children “is talk”, taking care to open up a dialogue about abuse and what it looks like.

Mel B and her relationship with fiance Rory McPhee

Mel B also spoke on the continuous support she received from McPhee, a hairstylist she first met years ago through her cousin. Her love affair with McPhee, a longtime family friend, developed during the pandemic and he proposed in October 2022 after visiting her late father’s grave to ask his permission.

“He’s helped a lot. He’s proven to me that there are good people out there because when you come from having been with a monster, you think, ‘Well, I can’t trust myself and I certainly can’t trust anybody else,’” she said.

“Your guard is completely up. But I’ve known Rory for a long time. He actually knew my dad before he passed, so there was already that built-in safety and trust and respect,” she added.

While Mel B looks ahead to her wedding planning, she is able to approach her life now with a new perspective. “I’ll never be fully there,” she said, adding “but I am on the right path, and I have the tools to kind of get myself through those dark times."