'AITA for asking my brother to pay for using family cabin after he refused to help with the renovation?'

A 35-year-old man is speaking out after feeling unfairly scolded by his mother for asking his brother to pay for using the family cabin that he had earlier refused to renovate.

The story unfolds around a beloved, memory-filled cabin passed down from the man’s grandparents. Initially, the parents decided to give it to their younger son, Matt, 30. However, Matt quickly declined the offer after seeing the cabin’s poor condition, fearing the financial burden.

The cabin was then offered to the older son, who took on the task of completely renovating the deck without any help from family members, including his younger brother. Now, tensions are rising as the older brother seeks compensation for the use of the property.

OP's brother refused to pay for a vacation at his cabin

The Redditor, LaRainax523, recently shared the family disagreement on the AmItheA**hole forum. The Redditor described a lakeside cabin passed down from their grandparents, which had fallen into disrepair.

The family cabin, once filled with cherished memories, had a leaky roof, rotting wood, and outdated plumbing. Initially, the Redditor’s parents decided to give the cabin to their younger son, Matt, 30, because he had fond memories of it growing up.

However, Matt declined, saying, “It would cost tens of thousands of dollars, and the upkeep was more than he was willing to commit to.” He added that he wasn’t “in a position to take on such a big project” and that it was “too much work for a vacation home.” So, the parents turned to the older brother.

The Redditor said, “It meant something to me,” recalling summers spent fishing with his grandpa and roasting marshmallows with cousins.

Despite the cabin’s poor condition, the OP decided to take it on. Over the years, he poured his time, effort, and tens of thousands of dollars into renovating the cabin, doing everything from replacing the roof and reinforcing the foundation to fixing the plumbing and rebuilding the deck.

He explained, "It became my after-work project, but it also became a major financial commitment. Every spare dollar I had went into fixing up that place. I've asked my family to help out many times, whether financially or physically with labour but no one ever did."

Recently, after the renovations were completed, the younger brother, Matt, asked if he and his family could use the cabin for a summer vacation. The Redditor agreed but requested a $500 contribution to cover utilities and wear and tear. 

Matt, however, accused the Redditor of being “greedy” for charging family and argued that their “grandparents wouldn’t want the cabin to be a business.”

The Redditor defended his stance, saying, “I’ve poured my time and money into making it a livable space, it’s not fair for him to expect a free vacation just because we share blood.”

The Redditor continued, “He argued that “it’s not like you’re paying rent on it” and “you were gonna be there anyway”. But that’s not the point. If I let him stay for free, where do I draw the line? Do I have to offer it to every cousin, uncle, or second cousin twice removed who wants a weekend getaway? If Matt contributes nothing but gets free access, doesn’t that mean I’m basically paying for his vacation?”

The situation escalated when their mother got involved, advising the Redditor to do the “right thing.” However, when the Redditor stood firm on his decision, his mother and Matt accused him of acting “unfair.”

The post concluded with the Redditor asking, “Matt hasn’t spoken to me since, and our mom keeps telling me I’m being unfair. Am I the a**hole for expecting him to chip in, or is he just entitled?”

Redditors encourage older brother to 'stand' by his decision

After learning about the disagreement between the brothers over payment for the charming, memory-filled cabin, several online users have expressed support for OP's decision. 

One user wrote, "NTA. He passed on the cabin because of the work, now he wants the perks without contributing? That’s entitled."

The second person said, "NTA he did nothing to help restore and maintain the property. If you are now the legal owner, no one gets a say in who does or doesn’t get to stay there or if they have to pay our not. Tell mom to butt out, if they had maintained it you wouldn’t have had to sunk so much money into it to begin with." 

One person declared, "NTA. Stand your ground. Your brother is a user, and your mom is his enabler. Every time your brother complains, raise the cost to stay another $100."

One netizen shared, "NTA … obviously …. The entitlement is strong …. Probably because mommy is always enabling him."

A Redditor praised, "$500 for a week is a great deal! NTA. I'd gladly pay that!"

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