'AITA for asking my wife to step up as a mom after she keeps avoiding baby responsibilities?'

A man has shared his concerns about his wife in a lengthy Reddit post after they became parents to a baby girl.

Taking to Reddit’s subsection, “Am I The A*****e” (AITA), the man, under the username Deep_Independence703, began, “About six months ago my wife gave birth to our beautiful baby girl and it was one of the best moments in our lives. My wife was on maternity leave for about three months and then went back to work.”

“She was actually supposed to be on maternity leave for a month longer, but decided to go back to work early. My wife and I both work full-time jobs and currently right now we have a family member who is babysitting her every day,” he shared.

Man says his wife does not change their baby’s diaper

The man continued that he “noticed after the first month or so that my wife’s sister would come over a lot to help her.”

First, his sister-in-law was coming over “maybe once or twice a week, but that radically changed into every single day.”

He then got to know after his wife’s sister that his “wife was having a hard time being around the baby, especially when she needed a diaper change, was throwing up and all the other little messy things babies do. I brushed it off as something that she would get over.”

But to the man’s surprise things did not change for good. He wrote, “My wife decides she wants to go back to work a month early. And since then, we’ve both been working full-time with the babysitter coming four days a week. This is where I start noticing more about my wife’s behavior towards our baby.”

“My wife is a highly sensitive person and gets grossed out easily,” the Redditor explained, before noting, “I thought she knew what she was getting herself into when we both agreed that we wanted kids.”

“She then started asking me to change our daughter's diaper every single time. When my daughter throws up, she expects me to clean it up, every single time. Even now when our daughter is crying, she almost ignores her and side glances to me that I should deal with it,” he wrote.

Man confronts his wife

The man mentioned that his wife’s behavior has now begun to frustrate him.

“Our daughter usually wakes up around 3 AM for a diaper change and I am expected every morning to get up and change her when it should be a switch off every other night. It’s really starting to affect my work,” he stated.

The man also disclosed that “a couple nights ago when she woke me up to tell me to change our daughters diaper, it was around 4 AM and I snapped and told her that she needs to step it up as a parent and a mom and help me do these things as I can’t always be the one to do them every single time.”

Concluding his Reddit post, the Redditor added, “She obviously didn’t like that and she’s been giving me the cold shoulder since then. How should I approach the situation and am I the asshole here?”

Netizens ask man to take his wife to a doctor

Many people gave their suggestions to the man in the comment section with one saying, “I think she needs therapy. Kids are gross. It's not really going to get better for a long time. She needs to find ways to desensitize herself.”

Another one commented, “Is your wife holding, kissing, and being affectionate with the baby? If not, it could be a detachment disorder or postpartum depression ON TOP OF her sensory issues with sounds and smells. This is a problem. Please watch her around the baby. if you see no attachment you need to make some decisions....”

“NAD, but this sounds like a neurodivergent expression of PPD. Please encourage her to see a doctor! It’s not fair to either of you to not seek some professional support,” a Reddit user shared.

“ESH. You suck for not realizing your wife was struggling from the beginning and trying to talk to her about it instead of assuming she would get over it. She sucks for having a kid when clearly her sensory issues are way too debilitating that even pets (which are less work) were too disgusting for her. The way things are currently going, I don't see a great outcome for this child,” another one posted.

A Redditor advised, “Your wife needs help. Postpartum depression can look like this.”

Another Redditor added, “As the father of 3, postpartum is a real thing and you and your wife should talk with her doc.”

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