‘AITA for banning my mother-in-law from seeing her grandchild until baby was at least 6 months old?’

A woman took to Reddit to explain why she does not want her mother-in-law around her and her child after experiencing a heartbreaking first pregnancy journey. According to the original poster (OP), her mother-in-law made her first pregnancy hell with her behavior. 

Giving out details in a post, the woman with the username mentallytrilllll wrote on Reddit’s "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum, “I had severe PPD and PPA and eventually I had full blown postpartum psychosis.”

“There's a lot of things she [MIL] said & did but her crowning moment was when I was being taken away by ambulance in full blown psychosis and she later referred to this event as a ‘barrage of shit’,” she shared.

Woman says her mother-in-law has never apologized for toxic behavior

The OP mentioned that her husband does not have a good relationship with his mother, and “it's been even more strained since this. She has never offered any apology and acts as if she was justified in her actions. When I pointed out that we're all adults and we're all equal, she said we weren't equal because ‘she’s the parent.’”

She further said that she’s pregnant a second time and she does not want her mother-in-law "around at all postpartum. She caused such distress the first time around, tried to pit my husband and I against each other, tried to get my parents involved.”

“I don't want to deal with it again, and my husband REALLY doesn't want to deal with it again. We kept my current pregnancy private-ish until I was 6 months along,” the woman explained.

Woman's mother-in-law called her and her husband ‘toxic monsters’

The OP shared on Reddit share that the night before, she and her husband had a discussion with her mother-in-law, and they got to know “she would be staying in town around my due date to ‘help out.’” 

“We tried to politely decline but she was not taking the hint so eventually we just told her flat out we didn't want her around until the baby was a bit older (at least 6 months old) because we don't want any extra stress,” the OP continued.

But her mother-in-law did not take it well and accused them of being “toxic monsters.”

Concluding her post, the woman added, “Am I the a**hole for holding this boundary? Part of me thinks I'm being too brash. Another part thinks back to all the chaos she caused and I feel at peace with the decision.”

Redditors ask OP to cut mother-in-law out of her life completely

People in the comments section of the post supported the OP’s decision, with some even asking her to completely cut her mother-in-law out of her life. 

One Redditor posted, “NTA Your mental health needs to be a priority after birth. You need to reduce as many stressors as you can. You should cut her off now so it won't even be in the back of your mind when you give birth. Be very careful and make sure you can express to your husband when you need help.”

Another wrote, “NTA Change the locks, install cameras, set boundaries and enforce them. If MIL continues her tantrums, cut contact. If that doesn’t work, going no contact may be what you need for your mental health, and physical health after birth and during recovery.”

One person declared, “She's been mean to you a long time. ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them.’ (Maya Angelou). NTA. Also, consider recording (if allowed in your state) some of your conversations with her, so they can be played if she tries to take you to court for that "grandparent" law that some states have where they are allowed to see their grandchildren. Her behavior will speak volumes.”

“NTA  She should be grateful you're going to allow her around your children at all. You would not be an asshole if you decided to go no contact with this woman completely,” another remarked.

One individual commented, “NTA Damn dude you are taking one HELL of a gamble though.”

Another added, “NTA. Cut out this crazy person entirely. I know she's your husband's mother, but she's clearly a toxic and hateful person. None of you need that.”

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