'AITA for being angry at my partner for not reprimanding his son after he used a racial epithet?'

A 25-year-old Black woman, who goes by the username 'Alternative-Front613,' took to Reddit's popular 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA) platform to share her distress over her White boyfriend, 46, who failed to reprimand his 14-year-old son, also White, for making "racist jokes."

The woman received more than 3K comments in her Post, titled, 'AITAH for being upset with my boyfriend for not disciplining his son for making a racist slur?' with many calling the boyfriend "racist" while others offering multiple suggestions.

Woman shares boyfriend didn't discipline his son for making 'racist jokes'

Taking to Reddit the Original Poster (OP) shared that her boyfriend's son was suspended due to a racial remark. However, her partner downplayed it, compared it to fighting, and claimed that his son's racist jokes were "just his sense of humor."

The woman shared that her partner declined to give his son more punishment or engage in meaningful dialogue about it.

"For the past year, my boyfriend’s son has been making racist jokes, including using the N-word (asking people to rearrange letters to spell it and singing racist anthems) and making jokes about Black people," the OP shared.

According to the OP, the son picked usernames like "Hitler" and "Forthej**s" while they were playing an online game. "This was completely unprompted, and my boyfriend didn’t correct him," she added.

Being uncomfortable having the discussion herself, the OP asked her boyfriend to discipline his son but he "never had the conversation I asked him to have" and claimed that "he knows his son makes these jokes."

Fast forward to recent times, "the son came home saying that another kid in class had said, 'White people are the supreme race'." However, the boyfriend "didn’t believe him because it sounded like something his son would say instead."

The school called her boyfriend the following day to confirm that his son was the one who had made the remark. Moreover, the son received a seven-day suspension. 

"When my boyfriend confronted his son, all he said was, “So you lied to me?”—referring to the fact that the boy initially blamed another student. "That was the extent of the conversation," the OP explained.

The boyfriend downplayed the suspension to his other son and said that it was his first offense. He also asked the OP if she believed that "racial slurs were worse than physical fights," drawing a comparison between the two.

Later, the partner asked his children what they wanted for dinner as if nothing had happened when he picked them up from school.

"His other son then asked, 'Don’t you know what he did? Aren’t you mad?' My boyfriend’s response was, 'Honestly, I’m more upset that he lied to me'," the OP shared.

Moreover, the boyfriend later informed her that the suspension was sufficient because his son "already knows what he did was wrong."

Additionally, he informed the OP that he would not dissuade his son from making these jokes since "it's his sense of humor" and people are "just taking it out of context."

According to the OP, her boyfriend appeared to be "completely brushing this off." Seeking advice, the OP said, "Am I overreacting, or is this a red flag for our relationship? I’m starting to question if this is something I can overlook."

Redditors call OP's boyfriend 'racist'

The Reddit community came in for the OP's defense as one labeled her boyfriend and son "racist" and said, "NTA. Your boyfriend is racist. His son is racist. Why is he still in your life?"

Another user wrote in part, "NTA. It’s completely understandable that you’re upset. Racism isn’t something to be brushed off or dismissed, and your boyfriend’s response is concerning. The fact that he downplayed his son’s behavior and didn’t take it seriously, especially after the suspension, shows a lack of accountability. It’s really troubling that he sees his son’s racist jokes as just “his sense of humor” and isn’t addressing it in a meaningful way."

A user suggested, "NTA. But you need to leave him. He doesn't respect you and allows his son to say racist shit. If he thinks it's no big deal when his son does it, he probably does it or has done it when you're not around. The kid learned it from somewhere, your boyfriend's lack of care and correction of the behavior says a lot about that."

"NTA! I’m white and would immediately breakup up with him for his acceptance of racism. You need to be way more than upset. You are in a relationship with a racist. The words may be coming from his son’s mouth, but your boyfriend is facilitating it," added another.

Another stressed, "He’s allowing racism in the home. He’s 21 years older than you and he’s not going to change. Please respect yourself and humanity."

"Run. Run away as far as you can. That type of humor isnt humor. It's privilege, it's hateful and it's evil. Down to its core and if he's more worried about the lying than the core of the kids belief then it'll only get worse because the kid will be more open and more hateful. Run," said one.

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