'AITA for breaking up with my fiance because he refused to set boundaries with his mom?'

Engagement is meant to be a celebration of love but for one Reddit user, their engagement turned into an unexpected entanglement.

However, the battle wasn’t just with her fiance—it was with his mother.

Fiance’s mother turns woman's life upside down

The Original Poster (OP) took to Reddit's popular 'Am I The A**hole' forum to share, “So, I (28F) was engaged to ‘Mike’ (30M) for about two years, together for four. We had a great relationship—at least I thought we did—until it became clear that his mom (‘Mary’) had a... unique attachment to her son.”

What began as minor inconveniences quickly snowballed into full-scale interference. “It started small. She would call him multiple times a day to ‘check in,’ which I didn’t mind at first. But then, she started showing up unannounced at our place, criticizing how I kept the house, and even tried to rearrange furniture because ‘Mike liked it better this way',” the woman wrote.

While Mike reassured her he would set boundaries, the promised action never materialized. “I put up with it because Mike assured me he’d talk to her. Spoiler: he never did.”

As their wedding plans began, Mary’s influence grew larger than life. The woman stated, “Things escalated when Mary insisted on planning our entire wedding. She wanted her friends on the guest list, her catering preferences, and even suggested I wear her wedding dress (which was dated, to put it kindly). When I tried to assert my opinions, she’d say things like, ‘Oh, honey, this is just how it’s done in our family.’ Mike just shrugged it off, saying, ‘That’s how she is.’”

Fiance's mother's possessiveness ends engagement 

The situation became unbearable when Mary’s possessiveness reached its peak. The OP explained, “The breaking point came when Mary told me I should ‘delay having kids’ because ‘no one will ever love Mike as much as I do.’ I confronted Mike, but he said I was ‘overreacting.’”

Desperate for clarity, she laid down an ultimatum: boundaries or bust. She revealed, “I told him we needed serious boundaries or I couldn’t do this anymore. His response? ‘If you can’t handle my mom, how are you supposed to handle being part of the family?’”

That was the last straw. The engagement ended, but not without backlash. OP stated, “Mary called me ‘selfish,’ his sister said I was ‘ripping the family apart,’ and even Mike’s friends are saying I should’ve compromised. But my friends are 100% on my side.”

Her closing question to the internet was equal parts heart-wrenching and thought-provoking: “AITA for not trying harder? Or was this doomed from the start?”

Internet applauds woman for ending engagement over fiance’s overbearing mother

The internet’s reaction? A collective cheer of support, with many hailing her decision as an act of self-preservation and a reminder that love doesn’t mean tolerating toxic family dynamics.

One Reddit user chimed in, "Girl, you dodged a lifetime of being the third wheel in your own marriage. If he can’t set boundaries now, imagine trying to argue with Mary over baby names or holiday plans. You’re not the villain for wanting a husband, not a mama’s boy. Let him and Mary live their happily-ever-after; you deserve better."

Another added, "I’m sorry she said you guys should delay having kids because no one would love him as much as she does? Actually she’s right about that because how could you love a man who lets his mother police his relationship? She might’ve done this in his previous relationships (if he’s had any)."

Someone else noted, "YOU darling, dodged a nuclear bomb. If he bothers you, tell him to go marry his mother because only she CAN love him as much as she does. YOU on the other hand sweetheart, deserve better. Someone who is not in an incestual relationship with his mother."

A viewer remarked, "NTA at all. That was never a relationship with just Mike, it was you vs. him and his mom. If he couldn’t set boundaries now, imagine dealing with that forever? You chose peace, not drama. Respect."

One comment declared, "You did the right thing. His mom was doing way too much, and he didn’t even have your back. If he can’t set boundaries now, it’s never gonna get better. You deserve someone who’s got your back, 100%."

Another observed, "As I see you weren’t in a relationship with just Mike you are actually were in a relationship with Mike and Mary. You set a healthy gap in between, and he chose his mom over building a future with you. That’s not your failure i should say it’s his. You dodged a lifetime of “that’s just how she is” excuses, and honestly, that sounds like the happiest ending possible. Stay strong.. you deserve a partner, not a package deal with a meddling mom well just saying."

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.