'AITA for breaking up with my fiancee after her mom refused to let us spend Christmas together?

A Redditor asked help from the fellow internet community to help him decide after he broke up with his ex-fiancee when his ex-would-be-mother-in-law did not allow them to meet during Christmas. 

The 31-year-old male author noted that he broke up with his girlfriend (female, 34) over Christmas. Now that it’s February, he is having second thoughts over the breakup, as he sought answers regarding his next course of action from the Reddit community.

Taking to the AITAH subsection of Reddit, the user asked, “AITAH for breaking up with my fiancee after her mother didn't let us see each other this Christmas?”

Redditor broke up with fiancee when she did not stand up for him

The author started the post by saying that he used to live with his partner with whom he was engaged for nine months, “completely happily.”

They were leading life a companionable peace, and “saw each other's families often,” before highlighting, “just never at Christmas.”

He explained that “Christmas, since we started dating has been spent either across the ditch hiking in New Zealand (Australia gets too hot in the summer where we lived) or abroad in Germany,” before adding that she is originally from Germany. 

The Redditor added that despite the locational hindrances, last Christmas they decided to spend their first Christmas at home in Australia and split it between our two families.”

“However, when my fiancee mentions this to her parents, my soon to be mother-in-law outright rejects the idea and thinks that I should spend Christmas with my own family instead,” noted the author. 

Reminiscing about his relationship, the author shared that “to prove my interest in them and their daughter,” he not only visited them often but also “picked up some part-time German study in the last two years.” 

However, he felt dejected when her family had made him feel that he wasn’t welcome at the house party. 

“Now, I was naturally quite upset when they didn't want me there for Christmas and when I asked my fiancee how she had responded, she simply shrugged. She didn't respond and she said she doesn't want to bring it up and it's not even a big deal,” noted the author while penning down his heartbreak at the matter. 

He continued, “Not being considered family by my fiancee's family is one thing, but now it seems like even my fiancee doesn't really consider me family. I honestly expected her to fight for me, but she didn't care whether I was there or not.”

Following the discussion, the author shared that he even asked for his “ring back.” “She asked if it was about "the Christmas thing" and told me I was being insane,” noted the author, before continuing, “She's stayed at her parents' place for two weeks before I finally pulled the plug on our entire relationship.”

Feeling dejected, he added, “My reasoning for being the a*****e is I feel like I threw away an otherwise really great relationship over one fight, but I just can't get over the idea that she doesn't consider me family after so long.”

“It's February now, obviously, and I can't help but regret my hastiness,” he continued at the present day, and noted, “She always cooked me my favourite meal on valentines day (Spätzle) and this one just felt so hollow without her.”

“AITAH?” he ended the post, before asking, “Should I try get back with her?”

Reddit users unanimously declared user to be 'NTA'

Following the author's post, the netizens were left siding with the Redditor as they highlighted that the relationship would have been anyway doomed because of the lack of passion in them. They also declared the author to be an "NTA." While replying to his second question regarding winning his ex back, they urged him to "move on."

One of the social media users said, "NTA. She obviously did not prioritize nor feel about you close to how you felt about her. I know it hurts, but move on. Find someone who actually puts you first."

Someone else said, "NTA," before explaining, "I would have had a longer conversation that it's hurtful that the person who planned to marry you wouldn't fight this and doesn't consider you family, but I can understand not wanting to stay in a relationship after this happened."

"NTA. When you marry someone, you also marry their family," declared another Redditor, before noting, "Unless your fiancee is willing and gave you explicit confirmation that she is willing to side with you over her family and potentially leave them for not accepting you, it's better to start over with someone more compatible in more aspects."

"I think the fact that she didn’t fight for you to be at her family’s Christmas and, since it’s now February, doesn’t seem to be fighting to get you back, pretty much says it all," observed another user, before stating boldly, "Time to move on."

"NTA. They all literally don't want you over there. They collectively don't choose you. She is wearing your ring, and didn't even ask why you couldn't come. Like she's single, with a new bf. It wasn't hasty. It was the right decision. It would be really awkward and a harder relationship, if you did get back together. There will always be this elephant in the room. Always," shared another user. 

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