'AITA for canceling the gift my husband got for me and ordering what I actually want?'

Is it ever okay to swap a loved one’s gift for something more personal, even when wishing for the perfect holiday present?

A woman faced this dilemma when she rejected her husband's gift, labeled him a "terrible gift giver," and bought what she truly wanted instead. Feeling guilty, she turned to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for canceling her husband's Christmas gift.

Woman expresses disappointment over husband's Christmas gift

On December 11, Reddit user Cautious Parsnip-693 shared a post on the "Am I the A*****e" forum, describing a dispute with her husband over a Christmas gift.

In a post titled "Am I terrible for canceling the gift my husband got for me and ordering what I actually want?" the woman began by describing her husband as a "terrible gift-giver."

She explained, "My husband is a terrible gift giver. Like giving me a gift card for my birthday bad. I am disappointed most of the time especially on my last birthday."

She went on to recount how her husband let her down on her previous birthday: "My husband is a terrible gift giver. Like giving me a gift card for my birthday bad. I am disappointed most of the time especially on my last birthday."

She expressed her feeling when her wishes weren't fulfiled when she was pregnant, "He didn’t even get me a cake. It literally depressed me especially because I was pregnant and I just felt like he didn’t care."

To emphasize her feelings, she shared a recent incident where her husband once again disappointed her, despite her clear instructions.

"This Christmas I told him exactly what I wanted so I wouldn’t have to be disappointed on Christmas morning," she explained. "I sent him links to birthstone rings of my children and told him exactly what I wanted and didn’t want."

However, when she checked the order, she was disappointed once again. "Well today I got a notification that he had ordered it and I looked. (Ya ik I shouldn’t have). It was exactly what I told him I didn’t want… and it was 2 sizes too small."

Feeling frustrated, she decided to cancel the order and order the gift she truly wanted. "I canceled the order and ordered what I wanted. I feel guilty but justified. Let’s see if he even realizes on Christmas."

Internet backs woman whose wishes were not fulfilled by her husband

Within two days, the Reddit post garnered over 153 votes and 199 comments, with many users siding with the woman and criticizing her husband for disregarding her needs and preferences.

One user said, "NTA as long as you don't say anything. With luck, he won't even notice the switch!" 

Another user wrote, "NTA! If he doesn't notice, then it's his own fault for not paying attention to what you actually wanted. You made sure to be clear with him, and he still messed it up. Hopefully, he learns something from this OP. NTA." 

Another said, "NTA. If he notices and reacts, then you can only infer that his lack of care is intentional. If he doesn't notice, then that's equally bad in it's own way. Either way, you got a husband problem." 

One commented, "NTA - If he does notice, I’d argue it’s weaponized incompetence and ask why he’s so hell bent on seeing you unhappy every year?" 

One suggested, "NTA but in the future, don’t tell him stuff you DONT want while listing off wants. It’s easy to get them confused for some people when trying to remember details. Keep it simple." 

Another user said, "NTA.  It's best that you get what you want. Hope he learns from this experience. Otherwise continue canceling and ordering what you want. Better yet, Greg's mom from Darma and Greg series, "I buy what I want, wrap it and put it under the tree and then act surprise when I open it." You can do this in advance by saying "oh honey thanks for the gift, it will arrive in time for (fill in the occassion)."

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