'AITA for cutting ties with my 'mom' after finding out she's my grandmother?'

Imagine thinking you’ve had life figured out, only to have it flipped upside down in the bat of an eye. That’s exactly what happened to a 22-year-old woman who shared her story on Reddit’s infamous 'Am I The A*****e' (AITA) forum.

The thread was titled, “AITA for Cutting Off My ‘Mom’ After Learning She’s Actually My Grandmother?”

The shocking revelation

The Original Poster (OP) started with a bombshell. "I (22F) recently learned a devastating family secret, and I’m struggling to even put it into words. My entire life, I thought my mom (54F) was the one who raised me as a single parent. She always said my dad wasn’t in the picture and that she sacrificed a lot to give me a good life."

Meanwhile, her “older sister,” Emily (37F), was the cool, fun sibling she adored as a kid.

“Emily lived with us until I was about 12, and I adored her. She was the fun, carefree sibling who always treated me like her little buddy. But when I hit middle school, she moved out, and we grew distant. I figured that’s just how adult siblings are,” OP explained. 

Then, out of nowhere, Emily showed up for a visit last month and dropped a truth bomb that shattered everything. “She looked so nervous the entire time. Eventually, she sat me down and said, 'I need to tell you something, and you’re not going to like it.' That’s when she told me she’s not my sister—she’s my mom."

At first, OP didn’t believe her. But Emily came with receipts—old photos and documents that backed up her claim.

"She explained that she got pregnant with me at 15 and that my 'mom' (who’s actually my grandmother) decided to raise me as her own to avoid the stigma of a teenage pregnancy. Emily told me she wanted to keep me, but my 'mom' convinced her it was the only way I’d have a stable life and future," OP said.

When OP confronted her “mom,” things got messy. “She didn’t deny it. She said she ‘did what she had to do’ and acted like I was ungrateful for being upset. She even accused Emily of being selfish for telling me the truth and ‘ruining the family dynamic.’”

"I feel like my entire life has been a lie. I don’t know how to feel about Emily—I understand she was a scared teenager, but part of me feels betrayed that she let this go on for so long. And my 'mom' doesn’t seem to think she did anything wrong," OP lamented.

"I’ve been avoiding both of them while I try to process this, but my 'mom' keeps calling me selfish and ungrateful, and Emily keeps begging me to forgive her. I know some people might think this story isn’t real, and honestly, I wish it wasn’t. I’ve never wanted anything to be less true in my life. AITA?" she asked.

Reddit says OP is NTA

As you can imagine, Redditors didn’t hesitate to offer their various takes. The consensus? OP is not the a*****e (NTA).

"So your grandmother had your mother at 17 and your mother had you at 15. I'm pretty sure your grandmother's age when she became a parent plays into this. She knows what she had to give up and how it affected her life and I'm sure she didn't want that for her daughter. You were kept in your family and loved. That's her perspective. You are shocked and dealing with a lot of emotions right now. I hope you can get some therapy to help you move through this. NTA," one posted.

"NTA - for needing time to process this. I have a cousin who was raised similarly like this, and was hinted that their believed sister was actually their bio mom around their teenage years. It has since been confirmed (now in their 30s), but due to how they were raised, they refer to their bio mom by their given name, and bio grandmom is considered to be their mom, no ifs, and or buts. As a family, we respect their decision. They also have bio siblings, which wasn’t learned until around their early 20s, they’ve welcomed them and call them their siblings. Take your time in processing your feelings, they’re valid," another offered.

"NTA. First of all, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Finding out something so massive about your identity and family out of nowhere has got to be completely overwhelming. You have every right to feel hurt, betrayed, confused, or whatever emotions are coming up for you right now. This is a lot to process, and no one gets to tell you how to feel about it," someone else chimed in.

"NTA. You’re not selfish for feeling betrayed; this is a huge revelation, and you have every right to process it in your own time. It’s not your fault that your family kept this secret from you," read a comment.

"NTA. You really need to talk to a therapist. This is too big for reddit. Give yourself some time to process this. You are going to be okay. Take your time to heal," another insisted.

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