'AITA for ending ties with my cousin after finding out she was the reason my ex broke up with me?'

Discovering betrayal in a relationship has left many heartbroken and mentally exhausted, as one 25-year-old woman recently found out. After three years with her boyfriend, she was blindsided when he ended the relationship, leaving her devastated and searching for answers.

The pain deepened when she discovered that her 23-year-old cousin had secretly hooked up with her ex, adding a whole new layer of hurt.

In the aftermath of this revelation, the young woman decided to cut ties with her cousin but now wonders if her reaction was too harsh. Reddit users weigh in on the emotional turmoil and whether her response was justified.

25-year-old woman expresses emotional toll of breakup

A Reddit user with the username "DeepThroatGirll" shared a detailed post titled, "AITAH for cutting off my cousin after finding out she was the reason my ex broke up with me?"

The 25-year-old woman began the post by saying, "So, here’s the deal… I (F, 25) recently found out my cousin (L, 23) hooked up with my ex (J, 27) right before he broke up with me. I was absolutely devastated when we broke up. I had no idea why it was happening. J and I had been together for 3 years. We talked about the future, marriage, kids, all of it. It felt perfect." 

She went on to explain the emotional impact of her relationship ending, "So when he broke up with me outta nowhere, I was completely blindsided. He told me he just wasn’t “feeling it anymore” and needed some space, but I got no real explanation. He wouldn’t tell me what I’d done wrong, or if it was even my fault. He just shut me out." 

She also elaborated on the emotional toll she experienced following the breakup, "I spent the next few months crying, trying to figure out what went wrong, racking my brain, feeling like a total failure. I asked him about it several times, but every time I reached out, I just got the same vague “I don’t know what happened” responses. I mean, he was everything to me. I couldn’t believe I lost him, and I couldn’t move on, even when my friends kept telling me he probably had someone else." 

Betrayed woman discovers reason for breakup with boyfriend

The woman, initially confused and hurt by the lack of explanation for the breakup, eventually discovered the truth. She explained, "Well, last week, I finally found out the truth, and I’m honestly still in shock. A mutual friend of mine and L’s told me that she and J had hooked up before he broke up with me. Apparently, they had been flirting for a while, and then one night, things just went too far. I was furious. This whole time, I’d been mourning the loss of my relationship, when the whole time, it was because my cousin was messing around with him." 

She shared her feelings upon learning the heartbreaking reason behind the split, "I was soooo angry at both of them, but mostly at L. She knew exactly how important J was to me. She was the one I’d gone to for advice when things were tough in the relationship. She’d always been there for me, telling me I deserved someone who’d treat me right, and then she goes behind my back like this? I confronted her about it, and she didn’t deny it." 

Woman confronts cousin for hooking up with her boyfriend

Afterward, the 25-year-old confronted her cousin, who was revealed to be the cause of her breakup with her boyfriend, "She said, 'It was before he broke up with you, I didn’t think it would mess things up this much.' But it didn’t matter when it happened. It felt like a betrayal no matter how she spun it." 

The OP added, "I’d talk to her about how crushed I was, about how I just needed some kind of closure, and she’d just listen and comfort me, but she never mentioned anything about L and J. I found out from someone else, and honestly, it broke me even more. To find out that she knew and just let me suffer? That’s not a friend to me." 

She continued, "I ended up cutting both L and T off. I know some people think I’m overreacting, but I feel like they both betrayed me in the worst ways. I don’t care if L didn’t “mean to hurt me,” she knew what she was doing, and the fact that she didn’t tell me makes it even worse." 

The young woman was left with a multitude of unanswered questions, "And as for T, how could she stand by and watch me go through all that pain and say nothing? I’ve blocked both of them, and I haven’t spoken to either of them since I found out. My family’s a mess now, some of them think I’m in the right, and some think I’m being too harsh." 

She concluded by asking, "So, AITAH for cutting off my cousin and my friend after I found out what happened? I just feel so betrayed, and I’m wondering if maybe I overdid it… but I can’t shake the feeling that I did what I had to do for myself."

Internet rallies behind 25-year-old woman after she faces heartbreaking betrayals

The 25-year-old woman's Reddit post prompted many to offer their support, reassuring her that she is not the "a*****e."

One user wrote, "Honestly, I don’t blame you for cutting them off. That’s major betrayal, and you have every right to protect your peace. They both should’ve been honest with you, and the fact that they weren’t just makes it worse. Do what’s best for YOU."

A second user claimed, "I totally get why you did it. That’s a huge betrayal, and it’s not even about the timing—it’s about respect. Your cousin and your friend should’ve had your back, not kept this from you. You gotta do what’s best for you, even if it’s hard. Ain’t nobody got time for fake people."

A third user stated, "that’s straight-up betrayal. You gotta protect your peace, and they clearly disrespected you. You’re not overreacting, you did what’s best for you. No one should be letting you suffer like that. You’re better off without them!"

One person shared on Reddit, "NtA! You are better off without them !" Another Reddit user added, "NTA. If he was willing to have a hook up with your own cousin, you didn’t lose much. You actually dodged a bullet. Good riddance to the three of them."

Another wrote, "Betrayal is painful, and you have every right to protect your own peace of mind. It's better to surround yourself with people who truly care about you."

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