‘AITA for feeling betrayed after wife hid that she couldn’t have children until years into our marriage?’

It started like any great love story! From the moment he met his wife, a 34-year-old man thought he had found his perfect match. However, things took a turn.

He took to Reddit, asking ,"AITA for feeling betrayed after my wife hid that she could never have kids until years into our marriage?"

OP and his wife paint picture of a life filled with 'love and children'

 The man narrated how he and his wife met: "I (34M) met my wife (33F) about ten years ago. From the very beginning, I knew she was special. We clicked instantly—same sense of humor, same life goals (or so I thought), and just an overwhelming feeling of ‘this is the person I want to build a life with.’”

Everything seemed perfect. They laughed at the same jokes, shared late-night conversations about the future, and painted a picture of a life filled with love and—most importantly—children.

"As we dated, I made it very clear that I’ve always wanted a family. I wasn’t pushy about it, but I talked about how I looked forward to being a dad one day, how I wanted to raise kids and create a loving home together," he said.

His wife never gave any indication that she didn’t want children. She would smile, nod, and sometimes even talk about what kind of parent she thought she would be.

It felt like a promise. A silent agreement between two people dreaming of the same future. Until, one day, the illusion shattered.

A shocking truth comes to light

"Fast forward a few years, we get married. It was the happiest day of my life. I loved this woman with my whole heart, and I truly believed we were on the same page about everything that mattered," the OP detailed.

But beneath the smiles and vows, a devastating truth remained hidden. The foundation of their marriage was unknowingly built on a lie.

"A few years into our marriage, we start talking more seriously about trying for kids. That’s when she finally drops the bombshell—she has known since before we even met that she has a medical condition that makes it impossible for her to conceive. Not unlikely. Not difficult. Impossible," the man wrote.

The words hit like a freight train. Years of shared dreams and whispered hopes suddenly turned into a cruel deception.

It wasn’t just about infertility—it was about trust.

"I was stunned. It wasn’t even just that she couldn’t have kids—it was that she knew all along and never told me. Not when we were dating. Not when I expressed over and over how much I wanted children. Not before we got married," he said.

When confronted, her reasoning only deepened the wound.

"When I asked her why she never told me, she just said she ‘didn’t want to lose me’ and hoped that by the time we got to this point, I would love her enough that it wouldn’t matter. She also admitted that she was scared I would leave if I knew," the OP said.

But love, real love, is built on honesty. Not silence. Not fear. And certainly not deception.

OP finds himself trapped between love and loss

So where does that leave the OP? He was torn between the woman he once adored and the life he always wanted.

He explained his dilemma: "I don’t even know how to feel. I love her—I loved her. But I can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of betrayal. This wasn’t some small omission. She took away my ability to make an informed decision about my future. She knew this was a dealbreaker for me and just… lied by omission."

A dream he believed in had been stripped away without his consent, and now, he stood at a painful crossroads.

"I feel trapped. I feel cheated. And worst of all, I don’t know what to do next," he said.

Internet advises OP to 'let her go'

The post ignited a debate online, with thousands declaring the man as "NTA", specifically asking whether love could survive such a betrayal.

One Reddit user chimed in, "NTA. Even if you had loved her enough it wouldn’t matter, she has completely misrepresented the person you fell in love with. Not just about the kids but that she could carry on a multi-year lie without batting an eyelash. What else is she lying about?"

Another added, "NTA. She removed your agency. She deceived you. She robbed you of time to move toward a future you want on a fundamental compatibility issue.

You will recover from this, my man. But not with her. You need to let her go. She is not for you. She will always serve her own needs before yours, in any way, ethical or unethical, that she can. Go have the family you want. With someone who wants you and wants what you want."

Someone else noted, "And it’s also wild to me that people get into a relationship and think, there is something that I know is incredibly important to the person I supposedly love, but I’m going to bank our entire relationship on the fact they will change their mind about it anyway."

The user continued, "Never get into a relationship and allow it to continue if the only way it’ll work out is if the other person “changes their mind”. This is true regarding anything, but especially when it’s an insanely important topic like children."

A user remarked, "Yeah that's manipulation. I just got out of a relationship with a manipulator like this. Not on this level, but I always seemed to get just the amount of information, or certain important pieces of it, for me to come to the conclusion he wanted me to come to or make the decision he wanted me to make. ETA: it feels SO violating because how do you know what you don't know??"

One comment read, "NTA. She should have been honest with you. That's a huge lie. A huge omission of truth. You deserve better than that."

Another observed, "In many ways, it's worse than if she'd cheated. Their ENTIRE marriage is built on a LIE! There's no way I could ever forgive her if I was OP and he can never trust anything she ever says ever again! Sorry dude, but that marriage is over, how can he ever look at her and not her her lies and betrayal?"

As one person explained, "She only cared about protecting herself and you should now do the same."

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