‘AITA for intentionally forgetting my dad’s birthday and leaving him to spend it alone?’
A 44-year-old man has revealed the reason behind why he chose to deliberately forget his father’s birthday.
The original poster (OP), under the username confusedFriendIsItMe, shared on Reddit’s 'Am I The A*****e' (AITA) forum, that his 73-year-old father has never remembered his birthday.
“It was slightly covered up when I was a child, because my Mum always remembered. But a couple of times when she wasn’t around, it fell to him and he totally failed,” he posted in a post titled "AITA for deliberately pretending to forget my Dad’s birthday & leaving him to spend it alone."
Explaining it further, the OP continued, "Every year it’s the same. My two siblings (I also have a much younger brother (33M)) aren’t great at this kind of thing, but I always remind them it’s Dad’s birthday so they can send him a card and call.”
OP says he takes care of his dad’s birthday after his mother died
The OP said that his mother is no more and after her, he usually takes care of his father’s birthday.
“A couple of times I’ve thrown him a surprise party, and for his 70th I threw a big event where his extended family flew in. I always point out to him when he has forgotten mine; I’ve told him I find it very hurtful. He just shakes it off and says it isn’t important,” he explained.
The Reddit user even disclosed that during a chat with his father at Christmas, he got to know that he did not even remember his birth year.
“He mocked me for being sensitive - and inside I just let it all go. He has a phenomenal memory - it’s ludicrous that he won’t do this for me. I don’t even want a gift, though I won’t lie it would be nice, just a happy birthday call or a card,” the OP shared.
OP made his father realize his mistake by forgetting his birthday
So the man took matters into his own hands and decided to not celebrate his father’s 73rd birthday. He did not even remind his siblings about it.
In his post, he continued, “He rang me the day before; I knew why but I chatted about random things and then said I had to run and quickly ended the call. On his birthday, I turned off my phone and went out. He rang me the next day and said that no one remembered his birthday, not even a card or a phone call, and he spent it alone.”
“I told him he had made it abundantly clear that birthdays were not important and that he was reaping what he’d sowed. He grumpily agreed with me, but he’s still mad,” the man added.
Now, the OP is feeling a bit of guilt as he noted, “I do love him, but I think this is the way it’s going to be from now on.”
Reddit users ask OP to avoid his father
Redditors in the comments section were supportive of the man who intentionally did not wish his father on his birthday. One fellow user wrote, “You waited way too long for teaching that lesson... NTA.”
Another Redditor commented, “NTA. Sounds like he got what he deserved for once.”
One person shared, “NTA. Your dad has ignored your feelings for years & never made an effort on your birthday even when you’ve tried you stopped reminding him & now he’s facing the consequences... It’s not petty, it's a wake-up call for him.”
“NTA. He's a grown dude, he can remember his own bday. If he wants to be celebrated, he should put in the effort to reach out to his kids,” another declared.
“NTA, he's pretty much told you that your birthday isn't important but his is. No thank you. And stop reminding your siblings as well,” an individual chimed in.
One comment read, “NTA He said birthdays aren't important!”
Another stated, “NTA. Tell him to contact your siblings if he wants attention. Continue to ignore him on his birthday and holidays. Cut back the Monday night dinners to once or twice a month. Don't bother with him. Do only what you have to do and move on. Celebrate your birthday and other events with cherished friends.”
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