'AITA for letting my five-year-old get hurt on an adventure as my ex is now pushing for full custody?'

A Reddit user sought the help of fellow netizens to know whether she was the guilty one for letting one of her young children get hurt during a day expedition that subsequently led her estranged husband to ask for full custody. 

Taking to Reddit's "AITAH" forum, the woman, under the username Grand_Secret 50, asked, "AITAH for 'letting' my kid get hurt on an adventure and now my ex wants full custody?"

Redditor shares her five-year-old got injured while they were out exploring an old mine

"So, my kids and I went on a little adventure. Just a drive down some dirt roads, exploring, making memories," wrote the original poster (OP), before adding, "At one point, I spotted an old mine up on a hill—rusty equipment, history frozen in time. It looked cool, so we parked and started climbing up to check it out."

She admitted that while they "couldn’t get inside," the day was a fun-filled one, with her reflecting, "I thought it was one of those little moments they’d look back on fondly."

However, as the family was on their way down, misfortune happened. The OP shared, "I told my five-year-old not to run. I warned him. But, being five, he took off anyway. And, of course, he slipped, loose rocks, bad footing, the whole thing."

As the little one fell down, he injured himself, including scraping up "his hands and knees pretty badly." He also "landed in a cactus" that sent the OP in a "full-on crisis mode."

She continued, "I carried him and my toddler back to the car, got all the little thorns out, cleaned up most of the scrapes, but one gash on his shin was deep enough to need stitches. I put some butterfly strips on it, had my oldest keep a towel pressed against it, and drove straight to urgent care."

She further noted that as soon as she regained signal in her phone, she called her ex-husband to inform him about the incident.

"Told him our son needed stitches, that I was taking him in, and that I’d video call once we were at urgent care so he could see everything. And I did exactly that—he was on video the whole time while our son got his stitches," the OP wrote, adding she hoped it was "the end of it."

But, it was not the case, as her ex called her up a few days later to castigate her for negligence. 

"Tells me I’m a terrible mom for letting our kid get hurt, that this is proof I’m irresponsible," noted the OP, adding that he further told her that it was a "good thing" that they haven’t "signed the divorce papers yet, because now he’s going to push for full custody."

She also added as an aside, "(Which, by the way, is ridiculous considering he’s seen the kids one day since Thanksgiving.)"

Ending the post, the OP asked, "So, AITAH for letting my kid explore and handling an accident like any normal parent would?"

After the OP received stark criticism from the Redditors for taking her children to the abandoned mine alone, she shared an update saying, she "grew up doing this."

She added, "I was also 2 semesters away from completing my bs in archeology and geology (ex was afraid d make more money then him and belittled me until i stopped going). I'm not an idiot if the mine was open we wouldn't have gone more than 10 or 20 feet if I could find the vein I was trying to show the kids. If I couldn't find it we would have left. if it was unstable we wouldn't have gone in either."

Redditors divided in their opinion regarding OP's stance on her child getting hurt during outing

Redditors on the "AITAH" forum had differing opinions about the mother's stance, while some thought she should have been more careful, others thought children get hurt all the time and that she handled the situation pretty well. 

Calling out the OP's decision to take her young children to an old mine, one said, "YTA an old mine? Are you sure you weren't trying to get them hurt? I really can't think of a less safe place to take a child who can't be trusted not to take off running."

"YTA. You explored A MINE with children!? Are you insane? Abandoned mines are notorious for being structurally unsound and caving in. You were insanely irresponsible. People are killed in abandoned mines all the time! It's not the cut. That could happen anytime anywhere. It's the fact that you lack any shred of sense!" another expressed. 

"YTA simply because you took children including a toddler into a dangerous situation and still don't seem to realize how bad that turned out. If the youngest had been ten, I could understand it, but a toddler? What if YOU had gotten hurt? What would your kids have done? Number one - protect your kids," one more wrote. 

However, everyone did not agree, as another user said, "NTA! Kids get hurt. That’s life. You warned him, he ran, he learned. And you handled it like a pro. Your ex is just looking for an excuse—if he actually cared, he’d be around more. He’s not mad about the accident; he’s mad he wasn’t there to pretend to care in person."

"NTA," wrote someone else, before adding, "In my family, the goal is to keep kids from being seriously hurt. It's good for them to know that they can be hurt if they are not careful."

An individual who was on the fence about the OP's stance wrote, "I really want to say not an ah, and kids get hurt, but taking a 5 year old and a toddler to an abandoned mine seems like a really bad idea."

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