'AITA for losing it when I found out my husband has been secretly sending money to his sister?'

A woman took to Reddit to seek advice after finding out that her husband was giving money to his sister without informing her. The 32-year-old Reddit user also mentioned that her 38-year-old sister-in-law uses her husband “as a piggy bank.”

The woman, under the username ToeSad1231, on Reddit’s "Am I The A*****e" (AITA) forum, began her story, writing, “I just found out that my husband (34M) has been secretly sending money to his older sister (38F) for years, and I lost it. I need to know if I went too far.”

Woman discovers her husband was sending money secretly to his sister

She continued that her husband’s sister “has always been a bit of a mess financially. She doesn’t manage her money well, constantly complains about being broke, and always has some excuse as to why she can’t cover her expenses.”

However, recently she discovered that her husband was also hiding a major thing about it.

“I started noticing that our savings weren’t growing as they should have been. We make good money, and I handle most of our finances, so it didn’t make sense. My husband has his own bank account for his personal spending, so I don’t micromanage it, but something felt off,” she shared.

However, all her doubts were cleared when she “overheard a phone call between him and his sister. She was crying (fake crying, IMO) about how she was short on rent and desperately needed help. My husband, being the big-hearted guy he is, told her he’d send her the money right away.”

The woman claimed that she immediately checked her husband’s bank account details and found out that he had been transferring “hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars” to his sister now and then.

Woman claims her sister-in-law uses her husband’s money on luxury things

She continued in her post that the worst part was “the same day he sends her money, she posted pictures on social media flaunting a brand-new designer bag and eating at some fancy restaurant with her friends. I scrolled back and realized this wasn’t the first time. Every time she cried to him about being ‘broke,’ she was posting about some shopping spree or night out right after.”

The woman then confronted her husband about it and ended up having a big fight. “I told him he’s not helping her, he's enabling her. I was furious that he was giving away our money to someone who was blatantly using him as a piggy bank,” she said.

She also revealed that her sister-in-law has never paid back to her husband despite promising it every time.

“That’s when I lost it and told him that if he wants to keep throwing money at his sister’s lifestyle, he can do it without me. Now he’s upset, saying I’m being heartless and that ‘it’s just money.’ But it’s our money, and I feel completely betrayed that he’s been keeping this from me,” she added.

The woman also stated that her sister-in-law has now been accusing her of being cruel and “coming between family,” as she asked other fellow Reddit users, “So… AITAH?”

Netizens call woman’s husband's behavior ‘terrible’

A commentator wrote, “NTA! She is milking your husband for money and he does not realise it and keeping it a secret is also a big red flag!”

Another one said, “NTA Next time she asks for money, tell him he will need to tell you about it. When she asks, monitor her socials for a few days and show him the proof. Then if you are right, tell him his sister needs to stop and he needs to develop a backbone to say no.”

“NTA. Your husband might as well have been throwing money at his mistress. This is financial infidelity. Tally up all of those bank statements and tell your husband that if he wants to save this marriage, he needs to get a second job to replenish the funds that have been blown on his sister and cut her off financially. She's not going to pay him back, so he should pay YOU back,” a third one shared.

An individual posted, “This is terrible and you deserve better.”

Another suggested, “NTA. Separate your savings, with the amount he gave his sister without your knowledge coming out of his half. If he wants to support his sister he can do it without having it affect your finances, since he never asked and you never agreed.”

“NTAH. He needs to get his priorities straight and recognize that she's coming between his nuclear family! You know, the one he made with YOU! He's guilty of financial infidelity and that's a toxic and damaging behavior. You are right to be angry and hurt,” a comment read.

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