'AITA for making my mother cry after revealing my true feelings about my stepfather?'

A 28-year-old woman took to Reddit’s "Am I The A*****e" (AITAH) forum to share how revealing to her mother her true feelings about her stepfather created an "awkward" situation at home.

The Redditor, under the username babygrogu, began her story by writing, "I have never liked my stepfather (60 something). They got married when I was already 18. He is the type of privileged guy who looks down on wait staff and thinks refugees should just ‘work harder’ if they want to make it."

Woman claims she has always 'hated' her stepfather but remained civil because of her mother

The original poster (OP) also revealed that her stepfather has not taken any step yet to get to know her but "sometimes he would try and jokingly roast me the way my siblings do to each other. But we do that because we’re close."

As she’s close to her mother she never said anything insulting to her stepfather, but "sometimes I roll my eyes in his face though. I hate him."

Elaborating her story, the woman continued, "I live abroad but happened to be home for the holidays this year. I was talking to my mother and she randomly mentioned that she and my stepfather can’t wait to be grandparents."

Discovering that her mother was talking about her future child, the woman got angry.

"She [Her mother] said 'it’s not that he’s trying to replace your father as grandfather but it would be nice to acknowledge him as a grandfather especially after everything he’s done for us. It’s not easy to marry a single mother of 4.’ I lost it," the OP further noted.

Woman needed to take therapy because of her stepfather

She then went on to call out her mother’s husband, disclosing that because of him she’s been in therapy.

"I learned in therapy that it was the responsibility of her and my stepfather to try and convince me to befriend him, but they didn’t make any effort to start that relationship," the woman told her mother.

She also told her that she does not "like people who don’t have empathy for refugees and people struggling economically, and he’s never done anything positive to improve my view on him, so over my dead body he will be considered the grandparent of my future child."

"I basically blew up because it’s been over ten years of her trying to make me see him as another parent when I have a perfectly good father, and it was difficult for me to see my once close relationship with my mother dwindle as a result," the OP expressed in her post. 

The heated exchange resulted in the woman’s mother "crying" and her "stepfather is avoiding me and it’s kind of awkward. But all my siblings agree with me, with one saying I should have just kept it to myself to keep the peace."

The woman concluded her post by asking fellow Redditors if they thought she was wrong for making her mother cry after telling her what she thought about her stepfather. 

Redditors call woman's stepfather 'insufferable'

The 28-year-old woman found support from fellow Redditors, who believed she did nothing wrong by telling her mother her true feelings about her stepfather. 

One wrote, "NTA your mother cannot force you to see your stepfather as a future grandfather for your children (who by the way you have not had) especially when you have no appreciation for him, and he is also an idiot for his comments about refugees and his treatment of waiters."

Another commented, "NTA. Honestly, it sounds like you’ve been incredibly patient given the circumstances. Trying to forge a connection with someone who never made an effort from their side can be super frustrating, especially when they’re throwing out low-key burns instead of building bridges. You’re definitely not the AH for setting boundaries about who gets to be called ‘grandpa’ in your future child’s life. Family titles are earned, not automatically downloaded with marriage certificates. Keep your therapy sessions close and your boundaries closer!"

"Nta you showed your mom that her shining knight in armor is actually a grotesque troll. Truths a b***h," wrote another person. 

One individual commented, "NTA. The truth hurts but it sounds like she needed a dose of reality. Hopefully she’ll develop a different perspective. It sounds like she settled for less than she deserved because she felt she had to as a mother of 4. I wonder if he’s the one who made her feel that way?"

"NTA. Did your mother even talk to you, or siblings before she married him? He sounds insufferable. If you were in therapy because of his treatment of you, then your mother failed to protect you and insist he respect you as a person. Your mother now realizes this, and she owes you an apology. If you have any children, keep them away from him. He’ll gaslight them the way he did you," one more offered. 

"NTA- The truth hurts. And there's probably a real good reason that you chose to live in another country rather than be near your SD. How your mom missed that there was no bond between you and SD for over a decade is amazing. That was one killer delusion mom had created where everything was perfect. SD is cold because mom is asking questions he doesn't want to answer. He's been telling her his abusive behavior was bonding behavior, and now mom knows it was not. And mom is fearing that you may keep any future grandkids away from her, too. The stakes are rising," another person added.

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online