'AITA for mentioning my dad's second wife as groom's stepmother instead of mother on my wedding invites?'

A Reddit user, under the username 'Otherwise-Fox-1644,' took to the popular "Am I The A*****e" (AITA) forum to share his dilemma as he revealed that some of his family members took issue with particular words he used in his wedding invitations and program designs.

In the post titled "AITA for listing my stepmom as stepmother of the groom instead of mother of the groom on our wedding invites and program?", the original poster (OP) revealed that his family members objected to the usage of "stepmom as stepmother vs mother." His post received over 2K upvotes and more than 600 comments.

Man listed his stepmom as 'stepmother' and not 'mother' on his wedding invites

The OP sharted that he and his fiancee completed the designs for their wedding program and invitations. "My fiancée's parents are both alive and married so she just has them as Father and Mother of the Bride," he said.

Detailing his life backstory, the OP said that his mother died when he was in elementary school and his father remarried when he was in middle school.

"My stepmom's my stepmom. I don't call her mom and never introduced her as my mom," the OP explained. "And I wanted to mention my mom on the invites and program too. So I had it worded as Late Mother, Father and Stepmother," he added.

Nothing was printed or distributed at the time. However, some relatives over for dinner wanted to see what the OP decided for wedding cards and designs.

"That's when some family spoke in protest at listing my stepmom as stepmother vs mother," the OP said. The man added that his youngest sister, who called their stepmother "mom", and two of his half-siblings were upset with his choice of words.

Given that his stepmother had been there for a while, the father wondered why it would be better to just state the "parents of the bride and parents of the groom" rather than "labeling anyone as a step or as a lesser parent."

Moreover, the stepmother suggested that "mom" ought to have been named last rather than first.

The OP's fiancee stressed that nobody was less significant because his mother was dead, and since everyone was mentioned, they "didn't need their opinions on our choice of words."

However, the three siblings who voiced their displeasure said that the OP was being cruel by stepping on them. "My younger full sister who doesn't call our stepmom mom either spoke in my defense and said she'd write it the same way if she were the one getting married," he added.

The OP said, "I don't see why mom has to come last and why I need to list my stepmom as my mother instead of stepmother, when she is my stepmother."

The entire situation has persisted since the dinner incident, and the dad provided several screenshots as "proof" that it is preferable to designate everyone as parents rather than by their official title.

Moreover, the younger sister has continued expressing her displeasure at "my stepmom has to always be reminded she's a step."

The sister said that if she got married, she wouldn't bring up their shared mother because she would "rather not have something morbid like that and instead focus on the living mom she has."

Expressing his angst, the OP said, "My stepmom hasn't said more but I could tell she was feeling hurt. I know she's entitled to her feelings and I won't discount them. We don't have a bad relationship."

"But I have never called her mom so I don't see why this expectation was ever there to begin with," the OP added.

Redditors support OP for being 'generous' on his part

Redditors flocked to the comments section of the post to express their support for the OP by declaring him "Not The A**hole (NTA)" for including his late mother's name in his wedding invitations and program designs and referring to his stepmom as "stepmother."

One Redditor user wrote, "If I was your stepmom and saw that you’d included me on the invite alongside your father and mother, I’d feel incredibly honoured and loved. I don’t understand why they’re all so offended. NTA."

Another wrote, "The other option would be to leave stepmom off of the formal invitation. "OP, Daughter of Joe OP and the late Josephine OP". Mentioning your step mom on the invite was generous on your part but if she doesn't appreciate that then leave her off. NTA."

One person suggested, "NTA - If that's not working for her, there's always "Dad's Second Wife".

"NTA It's your wedding. It's your decision. Also why is being called a stepmother a bad thing? That's exactly what she is. It doesn't diminish her in any way. Honoring your deceased Mother is understandable and touching. People get their feelings hurt over the silliest things," another wrote in part.

One individual remarked, "NTA, she is your stepmom.  Her wanting your mom to be named last makes her AH in my books.  Your dad is AH for not respecting your wishes and trying to guilt trip you."

Another noted, "NTA. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you worded things. Being that you are also mentioning your late mother, stepmother makes the most sense to use. I guess you could say Bonus Mother but it sounds less formal and it doesn't sound like that's how you view the relationship with her. I say to keep things how they are."

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