'AITA for not contributing money to my mom’s family Christmas gift for my brother’s car?'

Gift-giving is often a joyful way to share love and add color to life. But feeling used for money, especially during financial hardships, can feel deeply hurtful.

A 25-year-old woman recently vented her frustration on Reddit after discovering that her mother, who had initially planned a family Christmas gift, was now directing it exclusively to her older brother.

Feeling hurt and upset, she chose not to contribute, prompting her to ask the Reddit community, "AITA?" to see if she was wrong.

Woman refuses to contribute to mother's 'family gift'

According to a now-deleted Reddit post, a user named 'Princesswildrosedew' shared an AITA question titled, "AITA for refusing to contribute money to my mom’s family Christmas gift after finding out it’s going to my brother?"

The post started with an introduction about the 25-year-old woman and her family’s Christmas gift plans, "I (25F) have two siblings, my older brother Alex (28M) and my younger sister Lily (19F). My mom recently came up with this idea for a “family christmas gift” that we would all chip in for. She told us it was something that would benefit everyone and wouldn’t reveal what it was, just that she needed us to send her $500 each by the end of the month." 

The original poster (OP) went on to explain her struggle with contributing her share, "Now $500 is a lot of money for me. I just started a new job and am still trying to save up after struggling financially for a while. I told my mom I needed more details before I committed, but she kept brushing me off and saying it was a surprise." 

She then revealed how the truth was painful for her, "A few days ago, I found out the truth. Lily let it slip that the family gift is actually a down payment on a new car for Alex. Apparently, his car broke down recently, and he needs a replacement. My mom thought it would be a good idea for all of us to pitch in and get him something nice for Christmas." 

She expressed her frustration, "I was furious. Alex is 28, has a stable job, and makes way more money than I do. On top of that, my mom never asked any of us if we were okay with this. She just assumed we’d all go along with it. When I confronted her, she said it was only fair since Alex does a lot for the family and deserves it." 

The 25-year-old woman also shared how upset she became over her mother's decision to give the gift to her older brother, "I told her I wasn’t contributing and that it was ridiculous to call this a “family gift” when it’s only for Alex. She got upset and said I was being selfish and ungrateful. Alex chimed in, saying I could afford it if I “really cared” and that I was just jealous of him. Even Lily sided with them, saying it’s not a big deal and I’m ruining Christmas by making this an issue."

The post concluded, "Now my whole family is mad at me. They’re saying I’m cheap and that I’m being petty over something that’s supposed to be a nice gesture. I feel bad for causing tension, but I also feel like I’m being taken advantage of."

Internet supports woman who refuses to contribute to her family's Christmas gift

The 25-year-old woman's post about how the family Christmas gift, originally intended for the entire family, was now directed solely to her older brother, prompted supportive comments from the internet in her favor.

One user wrote, "NTA tell your whole manipulative family you are never giving them money blindly or trusting your mom’s word again. You might want to go NC with them for your sanity’s sake. OP you should ask your mom why she expects you to support your brother who makes more than you." 

A second user shared, "NTA Just buy yourself something and post a thank you that tags them all." 

A third user wrote, "NTA. Your mom was trying to trick you, and was hiding it from you because SHE KNOWS ITS WRONG."

A netizen added, "Nta I don't give anyone $500 gifts and I'm certainly not giving it for an unknown item. and how is that a family gift that everyone benefits from?"

A person shared on Reddit, "Your family is terrible. NTA but you would be if you caved in and contributed." 

Another user commented, "Alex can't afford his own car, but YOU'RE cheap? Take that money and go somewhere nice for Christmas without this bunch of grifters. NTA."

This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.