'AITA for not giving my mother access to my savings account even though she claims it's for emergencies?'

A 24-year-old recently took to Reddit’s 'Am I The A*****e' (AITAH) forum to share her dilemma about giving her mother access to her savings account. 

Beginning her story, under the username ComprehensiveWin82, the woman wrote, "I have been working since I was 18 and have been diligently saving money. Over the years, I’ve built up a decent emergency fund and started putting money aside for a house." 

Woman reveals her mother is demanding direct access to her savings account

The woman continued that her parents know she’s "good with money, but recently my mom (48F) has been pressuring me to give her access to my savings account. She says it’s because the family has had a lot of unexpected expenses lately, like car repairs and medical bills for my younger brother (15M)."

The Redditor explained in the post that she understands that money is tight for her family and has in the past always helped when she could, including contributing to household bills and helping cover her brother's school supplies.

However, her mother believes she needs to do more for the family. "But my mom insists it’s not enough. She wants direct access to my savings account 'just in case something big happens,'" the woman disclosed. 

She wasn't comfortable with the idea since she has worked hard for the money and she prefers to manage it on her terms. The woman even tried to make her mother understand that she would be happy to help if a real emergency came up, but her mother wasn't having it.

"She got really upset, saying I don’t trust her and that I’m being selfish," the 24-year-old shared. The rest of her family doesn't appear to be on her side either, as she mentioned, "My dad has stayed out of it, but my older sister (26F) thinks I’m overreacting and should just let mom have access. She even said, 'What’s the point of saving if you’re not going to help your family?'"

This left her feeling torn. "On one hand, I want to help my family, but on the other, I don’t think it’s fair for me to hand over control of my hard-earned money," she expressed. 

The woman concluded her post by asking fellow Redditors, "AITA for refusing to give my mother access to my savings account?"

Redditors advise woman not to give her mother access to her savings account

Fellow Redditors thought the woman need not give access to her savings account to her mother, with many saying that her mother's demand was simply wrong and that she might wreck her finances. 

One wrote, "NTA. Don't do it, they will drain that account, it is not normal to request access to someone's bank account."

Another commented, "NTA. As the mom of a young adult woman, I can firmly tell you, your mother's demand is wrong, and it is NOT usual nor normal. Your sister is throwing you under the rug because either she doesn't have money and wants yours as well, or she would rather see your mom steal your money, rather than hers. Ignore them both. If your mom keeps pestering you, I would suggest to go no or low contact for a while. And, most important, lock up your credit and identity information to prevent id theft from your mom. She's signaling pretty strong intent to get your money somehow"

"As a parent, no you are absolutely NOT an AH. You said that you would be willing to help with a big financial emergency. That's helping family on your terms. The only reason to give your mother access at this point would be for her to access that money without your knowledge. You are an adult, there is absolutely no reason to share your banking information OR give them access," an individual assured. 

"NTA Absolutely do NOT give her access to your funds.  Your mother is outright telling you that she plans to spend your money on her family expenses without discussing it with you.  No.  She will wreck your finances with no regard for your needs and wants," another comment read. 

One more wrote, "NTA it's your money you earned it you are seeing the benefits of being smart the way you handle your money and no one should have access to that money except you there's probably a reason that you don't feel comfortable giving your mother access to your funds listen to that voice in your head follow your instincts if you piss off your family well that's just too bad and as for your sister giving you a hard time about it has she given your mother access to her money and her accounts? A family is important but so is your future stick to your guns and protect your own best interest."

"NTA Don't do it. Guaranteed you will be kissing it goodbye. It's not her money, clearly you mother can't manage money and wants you to subsidize her. Tell you older sister she's more then welcome to share her money with your mother if it's no big deal to her," another person advised. 

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