'AITA for not helping my dad and stepmom during her cancer diagnosis after years of emotional neglect?'

The online community has come in to support Redditor, LilSollance, who shared that he has not been doing anything to help his father and stepmother during her cancer diagnosis because he does not "have a good relationship with them."

Taking to Reddit's 'Am I The A*****e' (AITA) forum, the Original Poster (OP) detailed his situation in the post, titled, "AITA for doing nothing to help my dad and stepmom while she's got cancer?" which garnered significant attention from the online readers with 2800 upvotes and 990 comments.

Redditor shares how 'things went badly' with his father and stepmother

Sharing the background story, the 17-year-old OP detailed that his stepmother received a cancer diagnosis a few months ago. "She's really sick and her and my dad are struggling to keep everything going," he said.

He added that he does not have a good relationship with his parents "who got four kids together 8 and younger and then there's me." "I did until I was 6. Then things went badly," he said.

The OP went on to detail his relationship with his stepmother who was apparently "jealous" and "felt like if she was my mom then I didn't need my grandparents on mom's side."

"So my mom died when I was only a baby, my dad and stepmom met when I was 2. I really loved her and was close to her and I remember when it changed," he said.

"My stepmom didn't want me to spend time with my mom's parents anymore. Mom was their only child and I was their only grandchild so I was extra special to them."

The OP further shared that his stepmom sat him down and asked him "to stop seeing my grandparents so I could be her son for real."

"I didn't want to stop seeing them and she asked if I felt that way even if it made her sad. I said I didn't want her to be sad but I loved my grandparents," he added.

The OP noted that their relationship "changed after that." He added that the stepmom "stopped being loving and affectionate, she stopped picking me up from school or spending time with me."

He further detailed how she used to "push" him away he "went to hug her." Things went worse after his dad and stepmom had their first baby and "she said the baby was their first kid and they were first time parents."

According to the OP, she used to get mad at his dad when he took him on family holidays and would take family pictures without him.

OP expressed he didn't do anything to help dad and cancer-stricken stepmom

The OP further detailed how the stepmom would get upset if someone referred to him as her stepson or his mother. "She always put a lot of feeling into the not my son part," he noted.

"I stay as busy as I can so I'm not home a lot and that hasn't changed since she got sick. Even when she was in the hospital," the OP said.

Expressing his anger with his father, the OP detailed that he accepted that his father was more interested in marrying his stepmom. "I'm keeping out of the way and saving and planning to leave when I graduate," he continued.

Several times, his father has asked for his assistance, and both he and the stepmother have pointed out that the OP was not doing anything to help.

"She told me I clearly want her to die and stuff. I rolled my eyes at her. My dad told me it was wrong and she could seriously die. I asked why it was my problem," the OP expressed.

His father reminded him that even though he was upset with them, the OP should still assist since it was the right thing to do.

Laying down his anger for his parents, the OP said: "I told him nothing needed to change. He said I was taking my anger out on everyone at the wrong time."

"He said she could die and he put all this emphasis on the point that the doctors aren't sure treatment will work and he said how sick she's been and how she's been hospitalized twice already. He said we all need to pull together now and I'm not helping anyone."

Reddit community supports OP for giving 'actions have consequences talk right back'

The online readers flocked to the comment section to back the young OP as one called him an "NTA" and said, "NTA. She made the choice a long time ago that you weren't going to be her kid, or part of the family so you get to return that energy. It is not your job to pick up the slack for her or your dad. She made her bed, she can lie in it."

A second supporter wrote, "NTA. You should give the actions have consequences talk right back to her. She tried to erase your mom and her family from your life instead of being grateful for being able to share in your life. She gave you no love as a child. You owe her nothing. As for your dad, he thought more about himself than about you. He was a sh*t father. You also don't owe him anything. I wish you well in your life but you don't need either of these selfish people in it."

"Nta. In fact, I’d bring up how I hoped dad remarries quick and the new woman treats her kids like she treated you. That should get to her," a third user added.

Another remarked, "NTA. She tried to have the action consequences conversation with a very young child. You can now have the action consequences conversation with 2 adults. She decided to punish a child for wanting to see his grandparents. So now the consequence of years of saying that she is nothing to you is back to bite her."

"Nta , time the step mom got the actions have consequences talk. You can’t be emotionally abusive to a child and then be shocked when they don’t want to help their abuser. You deserve a better dad OP," chimed in one.

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