‘AITA for not including my trans friend in my bridal party after she just came out?’

A heart-wrenching twist has shaken a bride as she navigates her wedding plans. The 28-year-old bride, already overwhelmed by the details of her big day, had her bridal party set with cousins and lifelong friends she’d known since her bachelor days.

However, tension erupted between her and her best friend Sarah, 29, who is currently in the process of transitioning. While the bride, also the wedding planner, explained that the bridal party was already finalized before Sarah’s transition began, Sarah now feels hurt, believing that her longtime friend is rejecting her new identity.

With emotions running high, the bride is in a dilemma over how to mend her relationship with Sarah and resolve the growing rift.

Bride explains reason for rift with her best friend amid wedding plans

In a Reddit post on the 'Am I the A**hole' forum, the user WallStandard1631, a bride overwhelmed by the stress of planning, detailed the situation she found herself in with her best friend Sarah.

The 28-year-old bride shared that she was getting married in a few months. "I’ve already chosen my bridal party, which consists of my cousins and sisters—people I’ve been close with my whole life," she said.

She went on to explain her deep connection with her best friend, "My best friend Sarah (29F) and I have been inseparable since childhood, and when I got engaged, I was not considering Sarah to be in my bridal party because she was not yet living as a woman. However, things have changed recently."

The bride explained Sarah's transition, saying, "Sarah just came out as a trans woman and has started transitioning, which is something she’s been grappling with. While I’ve been supportive of her through this, my bridal party was already set before she started transitioning."

The situation became complicated when Sarah assumed she would be the bridesmaid. The bride explained, "When I told her I couldn’t change the bridal party at this point, she was really hurt. She’s upset, saying that I’m rejecting the “new” version of her by not including her."

She acknowledged Sarah's feelings, saying, "I completely understand that this is a big moment in her life, and I want her to feel loved and supported, but I’m also facing a lot of pressure with wedding planning, and the bridal party has already been decided."

The bride went on to describe how the situation had escalated: "Sarah’s been lashing out, telling me things like “you’re not really my friend anymore” and that I don’t care about her as much as I say I do. She says I’m excluding her from my life, and it feels like I’m being attacked."

She added, "I’ve tried to explain that it’s not about her being trans—it’s just that I made commitments to my family, and the timeline is tight with everything I’ve already planned. But she’s still really upset, and now things feel tense between us."

In conclusion, the bride posed a question to Reddit users, "I love Sarah, but I’m also overwhelmed by wedding planning, and I don’t know how to fix this. AITA for sticking to my decision about the bridal party, or should I have made room for her?"

Internet backs OP, assures her she 'did nothing wrong'

After reading through the situation between the OP and Sarah amid the hectic wedding plans, several Reddit users offered their thoughts and insights.

One user wrote, "NTA. You did nothing wrong, it’s absolutely insane for her to expect you to change everything because of her. The other comments suggesting they understand her point of view are also crazy. What does her transitioning have to do with being a part of your wedding? I can’t imagine transitioning and immediately thinking that I need to be a part of someone else’s wedding party. Some best friend making your wedding about her and her."

A person declared, "NTA. It’s a tough situation, but you made your bridal party decisions before Sarah came out. It’s not about rejecting her, it’s about sticking to your original plan." 

The third user claimed, "NTA. Your wedding, your choice."

A Redditor commented, "NTA. Just give her some space and hopefully she’ll come around."

A comment read, "NTA You'll get demonized trust me lol."

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