‘AITA for not telling wife that her best friend tried to kiss me so their friendship is not ruined?’

A Reddit user, Choice_Evidence1983, shared a complicated dilemma on the 'Am I the A**hole' forum, seeking advice on whether he made the right choice by withholding information from his wife about her best friend, who he named Lynn, attempting to kiss him while heavily intoxicated.

The OP explains that he has been married to his wife for two years, and her best friend, Lynn, has been friends with his wife for over 15 years.

OP in a dilemma after wife’s best friend kisses him while drunk

The OP and Lynn have had a close but platonic relationship. "I never saw or noticed ever that my wife's friend has something something for me," the OP wrote.

"Her friend and I have been alone quite often and not once did she try to 'make a move', it has always been platonic," he added.

However, events took a turn two days prior to the OP narrating the story when Lynn arrived at their home visibly intoxicated and distressed.

He wrote, "She was so drunk she couldn't even walk properly I still am surprised how she drove herself to our place, I asked her to come inside and she was crying, crying so damm much I thought something bad happened to her."

After comforting her, Lynn unexpectedly kissed him, which shocked him. "I tried to comfort her but she just hugged me and kept saying that she wished she could find a man like me and all of her boyfriends dumped her and kept talking gibberish, I just stood still and let her vent," he recalled.

 "But suddenly she started kissing me and I was shocked for a moment but I shook her off of me and asked her what that was about," he added.

Lynn immediately apologized, and the OP, sensing the situation was a result of her drunken state, asked her to stay away.

Despite the intimate moment, the OP decided not to tell his wife the full truth when she returned home and noticed Lynn’s car. He only mentioned that Lynn had visited and was upset, leaving out the kiss.

Since then, Lynn had been texting him, begging him not to tell his wife, claiming that it was a mistake due to her inebriated state. "She genuinely thinks it was a mistake or so I think," he said.

Now, the OP is caught in a moral dilemma. On one hand, he doesn’t want to hurt his wife by revealing the kiss and possibly jeopardizing her long-standing friendship with Lynn.

"I don't want my wife to lose her best if she really has made a genuine drunken mistake," he explained. On the other hand, he felt guilty for hiding the truth, knowing that if his wife found out later, it could damage their relationship.

"I know she will be hurt but should I hurt her? It's no affair or sleeping if she was under the influence and if we can bury it all up and move and me and L stay away from each other going forward," he reflected.

OP finally decides to tell his wife about the kiss

In a second update, the OP revealed that after a lot of thinking, he finally decided to tell his wife how her best friend had kissed him.

"She was pissed, angry like never before, she asked me why did I hide it from her why I didn't tell her," the OP wrote while describing her reaction.

"My wife asked me if I ever cheated on her, I said I never cheated and never will," he added.

The OP's wife then set a condition for him: he would not talk to her friends anymore and stay away from other women, except family members. He revealed that his wife and Lynn had a conversation but his wife would not tell him the details of that conversation.

"All she says is 'none of my business', she's still super pissed at me and I try my best to make her happy and ended up doing embarassing private stuff for her which I never was," the OP added.

OP doesn't want to spend his life with someone who 'controls' him

In another update, the OP further explained that he was heavily criticized by Reddit users after that, who labeled him weak.

"But after reading alot of comments, similar posts, I thought why is my wife punishing me like what did I do wrong?" he wrote.

Eventually, after much reflection, he decided to talk to Lynn, who told him that his wife had been keeping him away from her friends, including Lynn, due to her insecurities and jealousy.

Lynn confessed that she tried to kiss him because she "fell in love" with him and didn’t think his wife deserved him. She also revealed that his wife was trying to control him and keep him all to herself.

The OP then confronted his wife, who admitted to her actions, claiming she did it "for his sake" and that he should be grateful for her.

"I told my wife everything and in her defense she said she did all this for my sake and just wanted me all to herself and I would be foolish to leave her instead I should be glad that I have a woman like her as my wife," he wrote.

In response, the Redditor realized that his wife’s behavior was manipulative and controlling, rather than loving. Despite his emotional attachment, the user decided to divorce his wife, choosing not to live under constant control.

He said, "Since then my wife is calling and texting me relentlessly, I just sent her a text stating that I am divorcing and hiring a lawyer it's one thing to be dedicated to your spouse but being controlled by them is not good."

"I don't want to live rest of my life with someone who controls me," he added.

The OP shared his experience as a warning to others, emphasizing the importance of being vigilant in relationships and not blindly trusting a partner.

The situation, though not involving cheating, revealed a toxic level of control, leading the user to seek a healthier life outside of the marriage.

Reddit community reacts to OP's sudden decision to divorce wife

After the OP provided an update, claiming his wife was trying to control him and hence he was divorcing her—after initially choosing to hide the kiss incident to avoid losing her—the Reddit community criticized him for making such a sudden change in his stance.

A user said, "Oh thank god OOP figured out his wifes being abusive, so nice to see an OOP with a spine."

Another added, "Wow that was quick…turning from absolute loyalty to wife to divorce in no time. Looks like the comments really changed his perception of his wife drastically."

The third commentator remarked, "What? That wasn't the final update I was expecting. OOP went from a devoted husband to a divorced one."

"There’s no way anybody believes this," wrote a critic.

A person stated, "As a Lynn, I feel a little confronted here with the comment that he named her Lynn "for obvious reasons". I'm hoping it means changed names for obvious reasons but as this whole post is so full of plot holes I worried it was a personal attack. Is "Lynn" a new evil name?"

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