‘AITA for not wanting to name my child according to my partner’s ‘sacred’ family tradition?’

In a post on Reddit’s r/AITAH forum, a woman, going by the username Kind-Pomegranate-748, shared her dilemma over the name of her unborn daughter, revealing the tension it has caused with her partner and his family.

 Kind-Pomegranate-748 (27) and her partner, Luke (30), are eagerly preparing for the arrival of their baby girl, but an ongoing disagreement over the baby's name has led to a stalemate between them.

OP's desire for unique name for daughter clashes with partner's family tradition

Luke’s family has a deeply rooted naming tradition: every firstborn girl is expected to be named 'Agatha'. The name has been passed down through generations, with Luke’s great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother all bearing the same name.

Luke’s family insists that the name be continued, and the OP feels immense pressure to adhere to this tradition. However, the mom-to-be is not on board with the idea.

“Agatha is a fine name,” she writes, “but it’s just not the vibe I want for our daughter.”

She explains that she has always preferred modern names. "I’ve always loved unique, modern names, and I feel like our daughter should have her own identity, not a hand-me-down name that she didn’t choose," the OP writes.

The OP tried to compromise by suggesting variations like using Agatha as her middle name, and even similar modern names like "Ayla" or "Athena".

However, Luke's family won't budge. Luke, the OP notes, has become increasingly adamant about upholding the tradition, asserting that it is important for their daughter to continue the legacy of his family.

The situation further escalated when the OP revealed that Luke himself despises his family name, 'Horace', which was passed down to him through a male tradition.

Luke declines to use his first name and prefers his middle name instead. When confronted, he brushed off the comparison, stating, "Yeah, but that's different."

OP faces intense pressure as partner's family pushes for 'Agatha'

This revelation left the OP feeling even more frustrated. As the couple’s due date draws nearer, tensions have only increased.

She explains that his family continues to put pressure on her, with Luke's mother sending her “baby blankets embroidered with ‘Baby Agatha’” and Luke’s grandmother making a "big speech at Thanksgiving about how she’s 'so proud to welcome another Agatha to the family'."

The OP writes, "I’ve told Luke that while I respect his family’s tradition, it’s our daughter, and I want us to agree on a name that feels right to both of us. He says I’m overcomplicating this and should just “honor the tradition” since it’s clearly so important to them."

She has been getting the silent treatment from Luke’s mother, his grandmother is taking her on "guilt trips" and Luke is "acting like I’m being unreasonable for standing my ground".

The OP concludes her post with the question, "So, Reddit, am I the a**hole for refusing to name my baby after my partner’s “sacred” family tradition?"

Internet advises OP to 'stand your ground'

The Reddit community weighed in, with many users expressing their support for the OP.

A user asked, "Why aren't you allowed to start a new tradition? Traditions have to start somewhere, time for a reset!"

Another added, "NTA. It's reasonable to want a name you both love for your daughter. You've already compromised by offering "Agatha" as a middle name, but Luke and his family’s insistence is unfair. His own discomfort with his name adds inconsistency. It’s your child, and both parents should have equal input."

The third commentator remarked, "Definitely NTA. It's your child, not a family heirloom! Traditions are nice, but they shouldn't override what feels right for you as parents. Stick to your guns and choose a name you both love. 😊"

"NTA. Stand your ground. Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people. YOUR child not theirs. Agatha is an awful name anyway," explained a supporter.

A person said, "NTA be blunt “if I’d have known this is what you would try and insist on I wouldn’t have had a baby with you."

Another chimed in, "NTA. His mother can buy a dog and call it Agatha if it’s such an important name to her. Your child is already going to get your husband’s last name I presume, so they need to let you have a say in her first name at least! And the names suggestions you came up with are nice and kind of a compromise (that you really don’t need to make)."

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