'AITA for refusing to allow my fiance's ex to give a speech at our wedding?'

A woman recently took to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" (AITAH) forum and shared a dilemma involving her fiance's ex, Katy, who remains close to his family and made an unexpected request to give a speech at their wedding.

The Reddit post quickly went viral, garnering over 9.1k likes and 2.7k comments as users weighed in on the unusual request and shared their opinions on boundaries in relationships.

Bride-to-be shares dilemma regarding letting fiance's ex give speech at their wedding

The original poster (OP) shared, "My fiance was dating 'Katy' for years then they broke it off. She still comes around since she's close to his family. By how much time they had spent together, Katy seems to know my fiance really well. That didn't bother me at first, but it became an issue when she asked that I let her give a speech at the wedding since she knows him well, and wanted to tell 'few funny' stories about him."

While OP clearly feels uncomfortable with this idea, her future mother-in-law (FMIL) and others are pressuring her to allow it, claiming it would add humor and joy to the event.

"I felt extremely uncomfortable and told her I was sorry but it didn't think if was appropriate for her to do that. My fmil got involved and started lecturing me saying I need to stop being negative and claimed I was making this 'about me' (but that's my wedding!)" the woman wrote. 

Moreover, the fiance is choosing to stay out of the discussion, leaving OP to handle things alone. "My fiance is choosing to stay out of it, but the pressure is on me now. I'm being called 'oversensitive' and needed to 'losses up' as this could be a good opportunity to add more laughter and joy to the event," the bride-to-be noted. 

It also seems like she isn't too keen on having the ex at their wedding as the OP further wrote, "But to be completely honest on here, I don't want his ex to take any part in our wedding, even if she's a friend of the family and they'd known her since she was a teenager."

Redditors weigh in on bride-to-be's dilemma over fiance's ex wanting to give speech at their wedding

Redditors sided with the bride-to-be, assuring her that she wasn't being fastidious or oversensitive by rejecting the suggestion of her fiance's ex-girlfriend giving a speech at their wedding. 

One wrote, "Exactly, this shouldn't even be up for debate or discussion in the end its YOUR wedding and you get to make the final decision, NTA," while another commented, "What is the ex even doing at the wedding? NTA but OP will be if they continue accepting this and getting married into a family that has no respect for them."

"NTA. Fiance needs to step up. Do not marry a man that doesn’t have your back," an individual offered. 

Another person wrote, "Yup! If he can’t step up and shut this down, OP should shut down the relationship! Absolutely NTA for not wanting the ex to make a spectacle at the wedding but a bit of an AH to herself for settling for a spineless wonder." 

"I don't get why the ex is even invited. Just cuz she's tight with the family doesn't mean she should be at the wedding," one more expressed. 

"Plus, when you give a speech or tell a story at a wedding, it should be about the couple, not 1/2 the couple. She wants to give a speech and tell stories as if it's his birthday or some event honoring just him. NTA and your fiance needs to step up. If he doesn't have your back now, he never will," another Redditor offered. 

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