‘AITA for refusing to attend my nephew’s funeral and going to my daughter’s graduation party instead?’

A woman has been slammed online after she shared her dilemma on Reddit that required her to be present at two different locations on the same day for two very different reasons.

Beginning her story, the Redditor aged 47, in a seemingly now-deleted post, said, “My daughter Zoe's (18) graduation party is coming up, this is a big moment/milestone in her life and we've all been looking forward to it.”

She also mentioned that her family is “pretty scattered and most live in different states.”

Woman elaborates about ‘a major tragedy’

Giving more details, she revealed that her family has “gone through a major tragedy recently, after my nephew and his partner both passed away in an accident.”

The woman then went on to note that her nephew’s funeral is just a day before her daughter’s graduation party.

“It's out of state and I'll need to fly, meaning I'll miss Zoe's graduation. It's impossible for Zoe to go, and she's bored anyway, so my husband will stay with her, but he's saying that I should at least attend the funeral,” she said.

But the Reddit user stated that her daughter did not want her to go for the funeral before disclosing, “Me and sister Grace (57), my nephew's mom, get along well and everything, but we've never been super close since she's significantly older than me, and she'd moved out before I was a teen.”

The woman also shared that when she called her elder sister about her not being able to be present for her, it made her “upset and emotional.”

“Now the rest of my family is saying that we don't care and are okay partying after something like this has happened. So AITA?” the Redditor added.

Netizens blast woman for not caring about her sister

Soon people began to call her out, with one fellow Reddit user saying, “I'm trying to imagine my sister telling me that she wouldn't be there for my son's funeral because her child is having a party. I'm trying to imagine my niece telling me that she wouldn't be there for my son's funeral because she is having a party, and would 'be bored anyway'. Sorry, YTA.”

Another Reddit user commented, “And it’s not even the actual graduation she would miss, it’s a party!! Cancel the party, the whole family attends the funeral and then no one misses anything. She’s an adult now. She needs to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around her.”

“OP's already f****d this if we're being honest. Even if she decides to attend her sister is never going to forget that it was still a toss up between nephew's funeral and her daughter's graduation party. This is not something relationships recover from, and OP's probably going to be met with icy shoulders for quite a while after this,” an individual posted.

“I'd say OP should go to her nephew's funeral, even with a 10 year age difference, they probably have a significant relationship. But as for the daughter, does she even know her cousin? Sounds like they live out of state and there is a significant age gap involved. I also wouldn't be flying out of state to support my aunt who I haven't seen in 10+ years,” a user wrote.

A comment read, “I love how OP adds that she isn't really close with her sister because of the age difference. She doesn't care and is flailing around for a way to say it without sounding terrible. Sorry, OP, that's not going to happen. Your sister lost her child! All three of you need to go, and don't ever expect the others to go if you don't.”

“High school graduation is important to your daughter right now, but it will be a fond memory at best in her highlight reel. Your sister will never get over this devastation. So it's not a matter of who is more important to you, your daughter or your sister/her son. If your sister and your daughter both needed a kidney and you were a match, it's obvious you would save your daughter. It's a question of triage. If there was an accident and your sister desperately needed a tourniquet and your daughter needed a band-aid, who would you treat first ? YTA if you wouldn't apply the tourniquet,” a Redditor added.

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