‘AITA for refusing to eat any cake my GF bakes until she apologizes for mocking my mother?’

A Reddit user, known as Throwaway_81457, shared a dilemma on the 'Am I the A**hole' forum surrounding a tense situation between them, their girlfriend, and their mother.

The user, who has been in a relationship for almost three years, shared that their girlfriend has had ongoing issues with their mother, who is described as “mentally slow” due to a tough upbringing and lack of formal education.

Tension grows as girlfriend mocks OP's mother and birthday cake choice

This has caused friction between the couple, especially after the girlfriend mocked the Redditor's mother during a birthday celebration.

The OP’s girlfriend had planned a surprise birthday party for them, but it wasn’t what they wanted. They requested a simple chocolate sheet cake with sprinkles, as it was a tradition for their mother to bake it every year.

The OP wrote, "This year she decided to make me a cake for my birthday I was happy because she's a great baker and even better at decorating, so I asked for a chocolate sheet cake with canned frosting and rainbow sprinkles."

In a surprising twist, the OP shared the disappointing experience of what was meant to be a romantic surprise but left them feeling unwelcome and confused.

The OP moved out of the house for an hour on their birthday. They returned home only to discover a large gathering of people for the birthday party. To their dismay, the party was packed with everyone they knew—both well and not so well—yet there was one notable absence: their mother.

The OP explained that despite this odd setup, the girlfriend had gone all out, baking a fancy lemon cake adorned with flowers and berries. While the gesture seemed sweet at first, the OP said "it's not what I wanted, and I'm pretty neutral about lemon desserts".

"Finally my mom comes just after everyone finished and according to my girlfriend, she accidentally told her the wrong time..." the OP wrote.

The OP's mother gifted them a cupcake—a personal gesture since she couldn't make the cake this year. But the girlfriend mocked the cupcake in front of everyone, making a joke that the cake was "unique" just like the OP's mother.

 "My girlfriend noticed and kind of gave my mom the stink eye which is fine as long as she wasn't being rude but then she took it a step further and just outright made a bad joke about how the cupcake was unique like my mom (she still likes dresses and two ponytails) and a few people even laughed," the Redditor said.

The situation escalated when the girlfriend later made a cruel comment, saying that the cupcake looked like it was made by a toddler. This was the last straw for the OP, who responded by saying they wouldn't eat any of her baked goods until she apologized.

"I ended up sleeping on the couch on my own birthday. The next morning, I made it clear that I wasn't going to eat any of her desserts until she apologizes," they wrote.

The girlfriend, however, told people that the OP hated the party, and now their relationship was strained, with some tension regarding financial matters too. The OP said everyone was calling them "ungrateful" now.

Reddit users back OP, call the girlfriend 'major red flag'

The OP asked the Reddit community whether they were in the wrong for refusing to eat the girlfriend's cakes and desserts until the apology was made. In the comments, many users were sympathetic toward the OP’s stance.

A user said, "NTA Soooo what are the positives about this partner who doesn’t listen to you, is ableist about your mother with additional needs, is openly disrespectful to your mother in public, expects you to financially support you.. but doesn’t wish to marry you?"

Another asked, "Why are you with this woman? She refused your proposal twice, doesn’t listen to what you want, and she’s disrespectful towards your mother."

The third user remarked, "All of this… Nta. Don’t understand why you would help to pay her insurance when you are not married even if you make more especially if you’re not on it?"

"Seriously, it’s like she’s not really listening to him or respecting what he cares about," said one supporting the OP.

A person said, "She not only doesnt want to help, or you to help, shes actively antagonistic to your mother. And, she doesnt appreciate your wishes, is rude, and disrespectful to your mom. I dont understand why she wants you to pay her insurance, or buy her a house when she doesnt want to get married. Shes not a good match for you."

Another chimed in, "Absolutely! Birthdays are about celebrating you, not someone's Pinterest party dreams. She made it all about her...major red flag."

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