‘AITA for refusing to help a disabled man lift a bag of mulch since I’m physically challenged too?’

A 23-year-old man took to Reddit’s 'Am I The A**hole?' (AITA) forum to ask whether he was in the wrong for refusing to help a disabled stranger lift a bag of mulch—because he himself is physically challenged.

The post was titled, "AITA for not helping a disabled man lift a bag of mulch because I am also disabled?"

Man reveals why he did not help disabled man

The Original Poster (OP) began by setting the scene: "I (23M) was at Walmart the other day looking at plants in the garden section. I found a houseplant I liked, so I texted my girlfriend to see if I could buy it. I’m also wearing my noise-canceling earbuds, so I can’t hear anything. Towards the end of my conversation with my gf, I start hearing someone yelling, 'Hey!'"

At first, he ignored it. But the OP finally pulled out his earbuds when the shouting didn’t stop—only to find himself face-to-face with a man on a motorized scooter.

"I spot the person yelling and he asks if I can help him lift a bag of mulch. The man is driving a motorized scooter so he can’t lift the bag. I tell him I don’t work there. He asks 'So you won’t help me?' I say 'No, I can’t lift that.' He yells 'What the f**k is wrong with you??'" the OP recounted.

Thankfully, a Walmart employee came over at that moment and helped the man lift the mulch, so the OP simply put his headphones back in and moved on with his day. But the scooter man wasn’t done yet.

"When he’s done with the employee he speeds up to me so fast I’m concerned he’s going to hit me. He says 'You’re a prick.' And drives away," the OP recalled.

"The reason I did not help him is because I am also disabled," he explained.

"While I do not look it, I have a connective tissue disorder and my knees and shoulders are my worst joints. If I had tried to lift the bag I would have dislocated something. I might be the AH because I did not explain in further detail but at the same time a random man is not privy to my medical info," he wrote.

Internet supports OP saying 'none of this is your fault'

Redditors did not disappoint with their brutally honest takes. The general consensus was that OP wasn't the a**hole (NTA).

One top commenter shut down any guilt-tripping immediately. "NTA. You’re right—a stranger didn’t need to hear your medical history as an explanation for why you couldn’t help. If the employee hadn’t shown up so quickly you could have offered to find someone to help him, but you didn’t need to do that because help appeared right away. He missed the part where you said you 'couldn’t' lift it, not 'wouldn’t.' The man chose to act like a jerk, and that is about his character, not his disability. None of this is your fault, so try to let it go and not give it another thought," they wrote.

Another person reinforced the OP’s right to say no: "NTA. Never let someone pressure you into doing something that would be dangerous for you to do. Also while you CAN explain why, you are under no obligation to do so. Your health situation is none of his business. I guess you could have said, 'If I lifted that, I would be in physical therapy for 6 months'."

"NTA. People have an unfortunate habit of assuming younger people are fully able-bodied, don't let some jerk in a scooter who didn't bother to listen or consider why you couldn't make you feel like you're the problem," read a comment.

Someone else pointed out that even if the OP wasn't disabled, it still wouldn’t have been his responsibility.

"NTA. Disabled or not, it is literally not your job. He can ask an employee for help, not be an a** to an obvious customer who has headphones in. Not only that, I'm pretty sure the store wouldn't want you to help in case you got hurt and needed to sue them to cover medical bills. Even if their insurance would cover such things, it would probably get raised. The guy was a jerk, not you," they wrote.

"You said ‘No I can’t lift that’ so you explained yourself perfectly well. NTA," another declared.

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