'AITA for refusing to wear heels and a gown while taking pictures of my sister-in-law at her wedding?'

When a woman told her sister-in-law that she wanted to wear practical clothing while photographing her wedding, she didn't expect to be met with hostility. 

The story, shared by the original poster (OP), on Reddit’s "Am I The A**hole" forum, quickly went viral, with thousands weighing in on the situation.

Woman wants to wear pants and comfy shoes while photographing her sister-in-law's wedding, but bride denies request

In the Reddit post titled, "AITA for asking to wear pants to my sister-in-law's wedding?" the OP explains, "I (Olivia, 27) love photography and my SIL, Samantha (27). When she announced her wedding, I volunteered to be her photographer completely free of charge. She lives hours away, and I wanted to help with the stress. Big mistake."

What started as a kind gesture quickly spiraled out of control. The OP described how Samantha became increasingly demanding, often bombarding her with 20+ texts per morning filled with new requests.

"Because I enjoy being creative, I also designed her invitations, table numbers, wedding website, playlists, and bridal shower games. I even took a vacation day to help set up. She asked me to organize the wedding timeline, which I did, and she’s always had access to it. But with every task, she became more demanding. Some mornings, I’d wake up to 20+ texts full of requests," the woman wrote. 

Listing some of her unreasonable demands, the OP wrote, "She insisted I make a custom cocktail hour playlist instead of using a pre-made one. She demanded I attend a second rehearsal, even after I said I had an exam to study for. She assumed I’d photograph her bridal shower AND rehearsal—without asking."

However, "the kicker" for OP was when Samantha refused to let her wear pants and comfortable shoes while working at the wedding.

"She insists I wear a floor-length gown and heels while photographing the wedding. I’m not in the wedding party. I won’t even be in pictures—because I’M TAKING THEM. Long fabric + heels + running around a venue? I’ll be tripping all day. I asked months ago to wear something more practical, and she completely shut it down," the OP shared. 

On top of this, family drama only made things worse.

"My FIL has been gossiping about the siblings. When my husband and I refused to engage, he called us 'self-righteous,' causing a rift. I assured Samantha I’d remain civil. (That word is important later.)," the woman added. 

As if that weren’t enough, the OP recently learned that Samantha had been complaining about her behind her back, saying things like, "'I don’t know what’s going on with the wedding because Olivia hasn’t responded!' and blaming me for her not hanging out with everyone. She’s also mocked my husband and me for our faith, jealous that other siblings are closer to us because we attend the same church."

"Now, a week before the wedding, I finally put my foot down. I told her. She should assign a bridesmaid to coordinate the day of because I can’t be both photographer and coordinator. I need to wear pants and comfy shoes to do my job but would change into a dress after major events," the OP noted.

Samantha’s responded saying, "I thought we agreed to keep things civil? Did I do something offensive? 'm trying to keep this wedding less stressful as much as I can."

This infuriated OP, who pointed out, "CIVIL? If anyone has made this wedding less stressful, it’s me. I don’t think she’s concerned about me—just that she won’t get more out of me. I love her, but enough is enough. I have exams, my cat just had surgery for a possibly cancerous tumor, and I was sick for a month leading up to this."

"I understand I signed myself up for all these duties and I’m asking to change my outfit last minute, but I feel completely taken advantage of," the OP expressed, before asking, "AITA?" 

Internet sides with OP and calls out her sister-in-law's entitlement

Redditors overwhelmingly sided with the woman, labeling her NTA (not the a**hole) and many pointed out that her sister-in-law was being unreasonable. 

One wrote, "NTA. Start telling her things instead of asking. Like 'I will be wearing pants. If you have a problem with this, let me know, so that I can stop investing in this wedding because you will find a new photographer.' and 'I will just do the photos of the main event. You will have to make your own playlist. I am just doing the photos. Of the main event. While wearing pants.'"

Another added, "NTA - tell her to book a photographer in a full length dress and heels instead if she insists you wear the dress. You have to set up your location shots, put yourself in all sorts of positions to get good pictures, maybe explain that to her."

"NTA and just wear pants. What’s she going to do, kick out her only photographer?" one more wrote. 

"NTA, but your about-to-be sister-in-law has got that position covered extremely perfectly. Ask the lovely and kind Samantha if she is willing to cover your medical expenses after you fall and break a couple of bones when running around in high heels and a floor length gown. Of course the answer will be a resounding NO, which is something I truly hope you can start saying to her. You should not be expected to risk life and limb because of some hair-brained idea the esthetic of the wedding will somehow be diminished if you wear pants. I would posit a guess that the wedding esthetic would definitely be ruined if you had to be taken away in an ambulance because you tripped and fell," a Redditor said. 

An individual questioned, "Why are you putting up with this? Stop helping her and as for the pants, 'No' is a perfectly good word. If you choose to allow yourself to be treated like a doormat, then you’ll have to accept that choice."

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.