'AITA for 'ruining' my boyfriend’s birthday dinner because I didn’t pay for his uninvited guests?'

When a girlfriend is planning a private date night with her boyfriend on his birthday, she would mostly accept her partner to uphold her wish. But what happens when the boyfriend tags along his best friend and his girlfriend for dinner without informing his partner who was supposed to pay? 

Something similar happened to a 20-year-old Redditor whose heart was broken after her boyfriend - Ryan, 21, - brought his friends to the private dinner party that his girlfriend planned for him without informing her. 

Taking to the AITA section of Reddit, the original poster (OP) sought advice from the netizens regarding her recent feud with her boyfriend over paying the bills in the restaurant.

Author refuses to pay bill after her boyfriend brings uninvited guests

Following her introduction, the OP shared that she wanted to do “something special” for her boyfriend Ryan’s birthday. As a result, she planned a dinner and informed Ryan that she would “take him out to a nice dinner.” She also mentioned to him early on, “Just the two of us and I’d cover the bill.”

She shared that Ryan “was super excited and agreed.” “So I made a reservation at a nice restaurant, put on a nice dress and was so excited to see his reaction,” noted the OP.

But when she reached there, a surprise was waiting for her - not to mention, an unpleasant one. 

When the author arrived, she shared, “I was surprised to see that Ryan had invited his best friend who also arrived with his girlfriend.” 

The author admitted that she was “caught off guard” as he “hadn’t mentioned anything about them coming.” Nevertheless, she “thought why not having a nice couple dinner.”

However, Ryan’s friends didn’t adhere much to the guests’ code of conduct as the author wrote, “The whole time his best friend and his gf ordered a ton of appetizers and multiple drinks each.”

“I started panicking a little because I realized this bill was going to be way more than I’d planned for,” wrote the OP. 

“Toward the end Ryan leaned over and said, 'Don’t forget, you said you’d cover it',” shared the Redditor before noting that she also gave him a befitting reply. 

The OP added, “I told him I agreed to pay for his dinner cause of his birthday and not for another couple I didn’t even knew was coming.”

Being adamant, Ryan, however, tried to blame the OP as she shared, “He said it’s "rude" to invite people to dinner and not pay for them.”

She continued, “At this point I already thought wtf wrong with you and told him it’s ruder to invite people to a dinner that someone else is paying for without telling them first. I already had the feeling to explode out of anger so I just went quite and waited for the waiter to finally pay.”

Instead of creating a scene, the OP decided to split the bill and pay for her and Ryan’s meals as promised. 

“When the check came, I paid for my meal and his and told his buddy that he should cover the bill for himself and his gf,” wrote the author. 

As expected, the OP not paying the entire bill didn’t sit well with the others. “Both looked at me as if I had insulted them in some way, saying I embarrassed them in front of the server,” wrote the author. 

Moreover, Ryan - after already establishing himself not to be a model boyfriend - called the OP names. She revealed, “In addition to that Ryan even called me "cheap" and said I ruined his birthday.”

After the incident, the author revealed that Ryan has been giving her “the cold shoulder.”

She wrote, he “just answered my messages with insulting me for "embarrassing" him in front of his friend. Now I'm thinking about breaking up because he is not talking to me since one week already even though I wanted to apologize.”

She concluded the post by asking the audience, “Maybe some of you got any advice for me?”

However, after the netizens advised her not to pursue this relationship as it is fated to doom, the OP agreed that "breaking up might be the best choice" in the comment section. 

Internet advises the woman to break up with her 'narcissist' boyfriend

"NTA. Your boyfriend, his friend, and his friends girlfriend are shitty and you need to reevaluate whether or not your boyfriend cares about you or if he is using you because that was very rude and presumptuous on all 3 of their parts. Now he isn’t talking to you over it? Well he has made it pretty clear the only part about you he cares about which is clearly the part that financially benefits him and his friends. Fuck em all you’re better off now. You’re too young to waste time on people who treat you like that," wrote one.

"So he's ghosting as a punishment? Then, just ghost him back. That's an easy way to end a relationship with someone who does that. Block him and move on," commented another.

"Older person who has eaten out for many many meals. With friends and without.

What you BF did was 100% wrong and very rude. His friends were just as bad or worse. NTA, and you really should break up. Trust me, if a young man likes you, he wouldn't treat you like this," wrote a third.

"You absolutely deserve better than this! The only reason his friends ordered a ton of food/drinks was because they expected you to pay for it. You also told your bf that you wanted to do a nice dinner with just the two of you. Your bf is a POS and so are his friend & his gf. You’re only 20 years old & have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t ever settle for someone who treats you like this. Kick this guy to the curb," expressed a user.

"Don't apologise and break up with him, it won't get any better from now on, NTA," stated one.

"A telltale sign of a covert narcissist is a partner that gives the silent treatment, expects others to financially cover them for their own stellar reputation, puts their partner in emotionally unsafe situations (ideally set up to make you look bad and then good), gaslights, does not care about taking all of your money if they feel they need it (regardless of how you’d suffer), blames and shames you for social and financial situations of their purposeful creations, I could go on. You’ve accidentally listed so many examples of a narcissist, even if you didn’t know it. I’ve been there, I’m sorry," wrote another.

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