'AITA for setting my husband’s colleague right when she claimed to be his work wife?'

A fundamental rule for guests is to respect their host, but occasionally, some may choose to disregard this, leading to drama.

In one such case, a Redditor took to the AITA section of Reddit to share an incident where she had to confront one of her husband’s female colleagues, Lily, for disrespecting their marriage. The post has since been deleted.

The original poster (OP), a 30-year-old female, shared that she has been happily married to her 35-year-old husband Nick for years. They have been together as a couple for seven years, and are “currently trying for a baby."

However, trouble arose when Lily referred to herself as Nick’s “work wife”, as the OP felt disrespected by the term.

Woman shares why she had to set her husband’s colleague straight

The OP shared, “The company where my husband works informed the employees that they will not have a Christmas party this year due to them trying to cut out costs.”

However, her husband told the OP that they wanted to have a small gathering at their house, which will comprise some of his colleagues, including two who previously worked with OP as well. 

“So we hosted last weekend. My husband invited the 2 colleagues I mentioned earlier who came with their wives, another guy who is also a good friend of ours and 1 woman (Lily) who also works with them,” shared the author and noted, they had a good time. 

However, as they were having a gala time, the OP shared that Lily “was very awkward but I assumed she was just stressed meeting new people. However she started saying strange things.”

“At first she mentioned how disappointing it must be for my husband that I don't work in the same field as him because we most likely can never share anything professionally. Then she said how lucky I am to be able to have my career while being so young,” noted the OP before saying she is working in a “high management position.”

Saying that she could sense Lily was trying to be “passive-aggressive” with her, the OP wrote, “Later on Nick was sorting an order out in the kitchen with our friend and I was in the living room with the rest. We were having a drink and the guys were mocking my husband's habits of not paying attention during meetings. Lily then said that it's good that Nick has his "work wife" there to make life easy for him.”

She added that when she asked Lily what “work wife was,” Lily laughed and asked her how she didn’t know the term. 

“The 2 other wives backed me up and mentioned they never heard this term either so Lily explained that a workwife is a woman who works closely with a guy, knows him very well and helps him out at work, therefore acting as his wife,” continued the author. 

Lily also told the OP not to “feel insecure or jealous because there is nothing wrong with it.”

“In that moment I was pissed but kept my cool and responded to her smiling that I have no reason to feel insecure since I am the legal wife and actually the only legally and morally recognized partner of my husband,” wrote the OP recalling her reply to Lily. 

She further told Lily that they are not the “jealous type” as she and Nick have friends of the opposite gender. 

“I think her comments rubbed everyone present the wrong way because when my husband came from the kicken, one of the guys loudly asked him something along the lines 'Dude, have you ever heard of wokwives?' and my husband (in his own characteristic way) made a face and said 'No, wtf is that?'” shared the OP. 

Later, when they were alone, the OP broached the matter to Nick, who said, “Lily is crazy because they are not close and she is in no way anything else to him other than a work colleague.”

The OP too doubled down saying her husband would not do something like encouraging Lily. 

Nevertheless, the evening’s matter did not sit well with Lily, who “has been complaining around the office” that the OP was rude to her when she was a guest at their house. Nick told the OP that Lily alleged the OP humiliated her in front of the other guests. 

While the other men defended the OP, Lily started saying that all the other wives present were “jealous” of her, and “ganged up against her.”

“My husband and the guys have been telling people that her claims are not true but I feel bad,” shared the OP, before adding, “So what I am asking is was I really that rude to her? I know my faults, and I know I have a temper and I am impulsive, so now I think that all this office drama could have been avoided if I did not answer back.”

Internet sides with OP and applauds her behavior

The internet unanimously declared the OP to be NTA as they praised her for standing up to Lily because she defended her marriage and set clear boundaries.

One user commented on Reddit, "NTA, work wife is a pretty common term so I'm surprised none of you had heard it, but she was probably upset that all the guys she's been farming attention from at work have wives at home that they care about more than her."

Someone else added, "Bet Lily doesn't even realise how bloody pathetic this makes her look. She's a pick-me, or is working awfully hard to become one, and absolutely none of the office dudes she's targeting are buying into it. A manic-pixie-dream-girl-wannabe, even when there's no-one even TRYING to put her on that pedestal. She's rightfully embarrassed as hell, but is unfortunately doubling down instead of actually examining her own behaviour."

Someone else chimed in, "NTA. You addressed Lily’s inappropriate comments in a calm and reasonable manner. The concept of “workwife” might be harmless in some contexts, but Lily’s presentation was clearly meant to provoke. Your reaction was justified given the setting and her implications. It’s unfortunate that this has led to office drama, but the issue lies with how Lily handled the situation, not with your response. You were right to clarify the boundaries and correct any misconceptions in your own home."

"NTA. Lily is a pick-me. Make sure your husband distances himself at work and she won’t be invited to any more celebrations with you ever. She ruined it for herself. How pathetic," commented another user.

Another user declared, "NTA. She didn’t like the fact that you were friendly with your old colleagues and wanted to take centre stage. And was pushed back."

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