'AITA for taking the car I gave back from my stepdaughter after she disrespected me?'

Internet users are backing a father who took back the car he had given to his stepdaughter after she disrespected him.

The situation was shared by the original poster (OP) on Reddit’s 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA) forum, where it sparked an intense debate with thousands of upvotes and over 2k comments.

Man asks if he was unfair for taking back car after stepdaughter’s disrespectful behavior

In the post titled “AITA for taking back the car I gave to my stepdaughter after she disrespected me?”, the OP begins by providing some context, “I (45M) married my wife, Clara (43F), five years ago. She has a daughter, Lily (17F), from her previous marriage. I’ve always tried to build a good relationship with Lily, but it’s been an uphill battle. She’s polite but distant and has made it clear I’m ‘just her mom’s husband.’ Still, I’ve done my best to support her driving her to soccer games, helping with homework, and showing up whenever I could."

He further explained, "Clara hasn’t been working for the past two years. She left her job to pursue her dream of becoming an artist. I supported her decision, even though it meant I had to take on more hours at work to keep us afloat. It’s been tight financially, but I wanted Clara to feel fulfilled, and I believed we’d get through it together."

OP goes on to describe how he bought Lily a used car to help with her independence and show his support.

"Last year, Lily got her driver’s license, and despite the extra strain, I worked overtime to save up and buy her a used car. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a 2010 Honda Civic, but I wanted her to have some independence. I thought it might also help bridge the gap between us. When I handed her the keys she seemed happy even gave me a hug which felt huge coming from her. I thought we were making progress," he said.

But everything changed when OP overheard Lily’s conversation with a friend.

He added, "I overheard Lily talking to a friend. She said, “I hate him. He’s pathetic, thinking that car will make me like him. I just pretend to be nice so Mom doesn’t get mad.” Her words felt like a punch to the gut. I’ve sacrificed so much to support this family, and hearing her mock me like that crushed me."

When he asked Lily directly about her feelings, she shrugged and said, "I didn’t ask for the car, so I don’t owe you anything.”

When he told her how much her words hurt, she rolled her eyes and said, “If you’re that upset, take the car back. I don’t care."

That’s exactly what OP did. He took the spare key, sold the car, and used the money to help cover the bills. 

"When Lily found out, she was furious. She called me a “petty jerk” and said I was punishing her for “being honest.” Clara blew up, too. She accused me of overreacting and claimed I’d ruined my relationship with Lily permanently," OP explained.

Clara argued that OP should have consulted her first before taking such drastic action, and suggested that he apologize and buy Lily another car. However, OP feels his actions were justified, stating, “I’m tired of being disrespected. I’ve worked so hard, and they’ve both taken me for granted.”

"Now the house is tense. Clara says I need to apologize and consider buying Lily another car, but I feel like that would just enable her behavior. AITA for taking back the car I gave her after she disrespected me?" he concluded.

Man’s decision to take back stepdaughter’s car sparks debate

The post has drawn reactions from Redditors. One user wrote, “NTA. Clara can get a job and save up for her disrespectful daughter's car."

Another commented, “Why are you with your wife when she doesn’t work and doesn’t respect you enough to stand up for you ? They treat you as if you’re an ATM NTA."

A third user added, "Exactly! I was thinking the same thing. It sounds like they are just using him honestly. No respect, no appreciation, and the wife just brushing it off? That’s not okay he’s working extra hours sacrificing so much, and they treat him like an ATM. NTA for sure."

"NTA. You worked extra hours to give her a car, and she turned around and called you pathetic? That’s not teenage angst; that’s entitlement. Clara brushing it off isn’t helping either. Respect is a two-way street, and you’ve already gone above and beyond," a user wrote.

The other user commented, "DON'T tolerate disrespect, even from a stepchild."

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