'AITA for teaching a lesson to my son by throwing him out after he said household work is a woman's job?'

In the era of globalization, certain categories of work are no longer segregated to be performed by a specific gender. 

While men and women are both swapping traditional gender roles, cooking, cleaning and household chores have come to be seen as basic life lessons. But when a teenage boy got his idea of work wrong, a Redditor father took it upon himself to set him straight. 

A social media user recently took to the "AITA" section of Reddit to narrate about the time when he taught a lesson to his 16-year-old son who condescendingly declared household work is a woman’s job.

Redditor teaches son a lesson after he declares ‘household chores are a woman’s job’

Taking to Reddit, the original poster (OP) headlined his post, “AITA for teaching my son a lesson and throwing him out after he said household chores are a woman's job?”

Seeking advice from netizens, the author, 34, wrote that he welcomed his son, who is now 16, with his ex-wife, 34, when they were teenagers themselves. 

He shared that they lived in “the same street growing up and knew each other from school,” adding, “We fooled around sometimes and the rest is history.”

However, when the original poster's ex-wife got pregnant, both their parents (who he describes as “controlling”), inferred in their lives and forced them to “get married.” Moreover, they wanted the OP to be the breadwinner of the family and his now ex-wife as a stay-at-home mother. 

The OP further went on to discuss his strained relationship with his ex-wife which was facilitated by their parents’ interference. “My ex and I, we hated each other for our stolen lives,” wrote the author, before clarifying, “We were never cruel to one another, and have never displayed any hatred in our house for our son's sake.”

Nevertheless, the exes separated two years ago but, since then, they have maintained a cordial co-parenting relationship. 

The OP further noted, “And, credit where credit is due, she was however, a remarkable homemaker and an amazing mother.”

He added that following his divorce, he started learning to do all the household work. “It was the first time I realised how much work goes into maintaining a house, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I had to look up YouTube tutorials on how to clean and cook,” confessed the author. 

However, problems arose when he decided to teach his son some of the less stressful household work as the boy not only refused to learn but also declared them to be “a woman’s job.”

“A few weeks ago, I was ironing me and my sons clothes and told him that I want to teach him how to do this, as I don't want him falling into the same mistake I did and never learning this on my own,” added the author, before noting, “He said he doesn't want to and I just said he'll have to learn to do this at some point.”

His son even added, "Only failed men do stuff like this and I won't be one of them."

“I stopped and looked up a bit bewildered and asked him to clarify,” shared the user, before elaborating, “He said that it is his belief that this is a woman's job to do and that only simps do simple household chores.”

“I tried to keep my composure as much as I could but asked if he saw me as a simp and he just shrugged,” added the OP, before noting, “I told him that now he will have to choose his next words very carefully but I said that he will learn household work whether (sic) he likes it or not.”

The man, disgruntled, told his son, “If you think this is a woman's job, it's time for you to live with a woman and to pack his bag and to go to his mom's house as I will not have any of that Andrew Tate bullshit in my house.”

“My son lives with me during the week as his school is only five minutes away and his mother nearly two hours. He refused to make his bag so I made it for him, he started seeing the gravity of my seriousness and tried to backtrack on his words but I wasn't having any of it,” shared the author. 

He also added that he also got his ex-wife in his league who promised to help “teach” their son a lesson. 

As the boy is now staying with his mother, she is making him do household chores. In the meantime, he has also called his father to apologize for his words while asking whether he could come back. 

But the Redditor shared that he wouldn’t bring back his son until after the holidays in mid-January. He also shared that his friends (with whom he celebrated Christmas) castigated him for his move. Some of them even said that “it was a dick move to uproot his life like this and it was an AH thing to do.”

Therefore, the man took to the Reddit forum and asked, “So now I am questioning myself, was I the AH here?”

The man later edited his post to add that when he had a discussion with his ex-wife regarding his son’s lessons, they have come to the conclusion that his initial punishment would stay and he would bring him back in the middle of January. 

Moreover, the parents have decided to broach the subject during his therapy while giving him some household chores to do in the meantime. 

Redditors praise OP's method of parenting

The OP was initially distraught over the treatment of his son, but his fellow Redditors eased the decision for him as they said he is a great parent. Some even hailed him and his ex-wife for their pioneering co-parenting. 

A social media user said on Reddit, "NTA. You two may not have been right for one another as spouses, but you’re both amazing parents."

Another added, "Your son’s attitude towards chores is absolutely outdated and toxic, and I think you did the right thing by teaching him there are no gender roles when it comes to housework. I’m glad your ex is supporting your decision, and I think this experience will serve him better in the long run. The world isn’t full of women who will do everything for him, and it's great you're showing him that. NTA."

One user praised their method of parenting, noting, "They're teaching their son an important life lesson about respect and responsibility. It’s not just about chores, it’s about breaking toxic attitudes toward gender roles. He needed that wake-up call."

"He needed to learn that kind of behavior isn’t tolerated. Household chores are a basic life skill, not a ‘woman’s job'," shared another user before praising, "OP and his ex-wife have been successfully nominated as co-parents of the year."

"NTA. You gave him a reality check that he needed, and it sounds like you and his mom are on the same page to teach him a valuable lesson. Better he learns this now than grows up with that mindset," mused someone else. 

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