'AITA for telling my mom she can't share a room or a bed with her boyfriend in my home?'

It’s funny how the rules one enforces on others can come back to bite them when the situation flips. 

For one woman on Reddit, what started as a family custom quickly unraveled into a heated debate on double standards, boundaries, and what it means to be an adult in the eyes of a parent.

Redditor shares how her mother refused to let her boyfriend stay over for Christmas

The original poster (OP) began, "When I (27f) was in college, I met my boyfriend, and we moved in together, sharing a place with some friends, after dating for a year. I was 19 when we met and 20 when we moved in together. We decided from that point onward to take turns spending Christmas with our families." 

But what seemed like a fair compromise hit an unexpected roadblock when it was her turn to bring her boyfriend to her family home. "The first year we were supposed to see mine, my mom made it clear my boyfriend could not stay, and we weren't sharing a room or a bed in her house," she recalled.

Her father tried to mediate, arguing, "She’s an adult and living with him already," but her mother stood firm. "She said I should respect the rules of her house, and I told her I was, but I didn't want to tell my boyfriend to be alone on the holidays, especially when his family had welcomed us together happily."

Frustrated, she made her stance clear. "After that, I made it clear there would be no coming to visit like that if I couldn't sleep with my boyfriend. My mom said it wasn't like we were married, so she had every right to that rule," she wrote. 

Fast forward a few years, and the dynamics took an unexpected turn. "Two years ago, my dad died, and for 11 months my mom has been in a relationship with her boyfriend. They don't live together exactly, but according to my brother, he was there most nights while he was still there," she added.

Redditor's mother calls her 'petty' for refusing to let her share a room or a bed with her boyfriend

This change in her mom’s life didn’t sit well with her younger brother. "My brother could hear mom and her boyfriend in bed, and he hated it, so he moved out. He's also 22 and had wanted to, but it gave him the push to move," she explained.

Her brother’s decision sparked a fallout. "My mom was furious and demanded to know why he was leaving out of nowhere, and she freaked when my brother told her he was tired of hearing them. It started mom off on him not being happy for her that she found someone again after dad died," the Redditor wrote. 

Now, with her brother out of the house and the holidays approaching, her mom was missing the family dynamic.

"My mom seems to be missing my brother being around, and she told me she misses having her kids around her, so she wanted to visit for a week or two soon. She wanted to bring her boyfriend along, and I told her she can't share a room or a bed with him in my home," the woman shared. 

The response was met with outrage. "I told her I do not want to hear that. She got mad at me and said she's a grown woman and should be allowed her freedom. I told her she was alright denying it to me, and I wasn't even planning to have sex in her house. But it sounded like she doesn't care if we hear or not, and I'm not dealing with it," she noted. 

For the woman, the rule wasn’t about pettiness but about enforcing a boundary her mom had once insisted upon. "I also told her I wasn't going to reward her with sharing with her boyfriend when she has been so strict with me about it," the Redditor said. 

The conversation ended with her mother accusing her of immaturity. "My mom accused me of acting like a petty child," the woman shared, before asking, "AITA?" 

Reddit community agrees with OP's decision to enforce boundaries on her mother

The internet’s reaction? A series of applause for the woman who stood her ground. 

One wrote, "Your house your rules, if she doesn't like it she can rent an air bnb," and another said, "NTA. What goes around comes around. Your mom: 'One rule for thee and another for me.'"

"NTA. It's not like they are married so you have every right to make that rule," a person remarked, with someone else adding, "It’s understandable to set boundaries, especially after how she treated you back then."

One declared, "Your mom has her boyfriend over nearly every night and is apparently quite loud and can be heard clearly, why would she miss having her kids around? Sounds to me like she wants free holiday accommodation for two. NTA, your house, your rules."

"It is petty but you’re being fair. NTA," another comment read. 

"NTA. It will be marked as petty, but I think this is honestly what most children need to do. Most parents don't see their children as what they are, growing people, until they're married and have a house and kids and s**t. Reaffirming this boundary that SHE set either leads to conversation as to why she did it to you or as to why she thinks she's above her own morals," another person expressed. 

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.