‘AITA for telling my mom she’s not welcome at my wedding after she called me ‘used goods' and shamed me?’

A woman shared her story on Reddit in a post titled, "AITAH for uninviting my parents to my wedding after my mom said my fiancé wasn’t eager to marry me and told me I can’t wear white?" and described how her mother had shamed her and made her feel bad because of her life choices.

The unnamed 30-year-old female, under the username EnvironmentalLegal78, also revealed on Reddit’s 'Am I The A*****e' (AITA) subreddit section that she has now uninvited her parents from her wedding because they disrespected her.

Woman received support from fiance and his family after getting pregnant

Taking to the Reddit section, the woman began, “I got engaged a few weeks ago and am incredibly excited. We actually already have a beautiful, happy, and inquisitor four year old daughter together.”

“We’ve been living together since my daughter was born and have been together for seven years now, so it already feels like we’re married, but we want to make it official before we start trying for our second,” she stated.

The Redditor further disclosed that her first meeting with her 33-year-old fiance Joey happened when she was a first-year law student.

They soon got into a relationship and “in the fall of my last year of law school, I found out I was pregnant. I was only twenty-five at the time, was getting ready to start my career, and wasn’t married or engaged, so it was a terrifying experience,” she said.

But the woman said she did not face any issue from Joey’s side. He also did not pressure her to make a decision regarding the pregnancy.

His family also came out in support of the woman. The Reddit user mentioned, “Initially I was going to terminate the pregnancy and went to the clinic twice, but I couldn’t go through with it.”

Redditor called out by her own family for having a child before marriage

The woman then provided details about her family. She wrote, “I come from an ultra conservative Christian family and my mom especially doesn’t think people should have sex before marriage. 

“My two older sisters got married in their early twenties and are now stay at home moms. I’m the only sister who graduated from college, is no longer religious, and has career goals.”

The Redditor said her getting pregnant outside of wedlock was unacceptable for her family. Her mother even called her “used goods” and pressured her and Joey to tie the knot.

“I explained that we didn’t want to rush into that. My mom called me selfish and said neither of us were putting our baby first. They didn’t speak to me until my baby girl was born,” she revealed.

The woman also noted that though her parents love their granddaughter, they still resent her.

Redditor's mother accuses her of sacrificing her ‘purity’

The matter got worse when the Redditor and her fiance shared the news of their upcoming wedding with her parents.

She claimed, “They didn’t seem excited. My mom asked if we were having a religious ceremony, and I said no. I explained that we want a small, low-key wedding and that we’re just eager to get married and make it official.”

Her parents also ridiculed Joey and accused him of ruining “her dreams of her daughter getting married”.

The Redditor’s mother even asked her not to wear “white to my wedding since I’m not a virgin and have continued to ‘sacrifice my purity.’”

“Typically I laugh off my mom’s comments, but I started crying. I told my mom that I’ve tried my best in life and don’t need her constant judgements. My mom said I’m clearly ashamed of my life choices and that’s why I’m crying,” the woman said.

She also mentioned that she asked her mother to not come to her wedding because she only wants “people who love and support us at the celebration.”

“My dad said he wasn’t going if my mom wasn’t included, and I said that’s fine with me,” the Reddit user stated.

But the conflict did not end there as subsequently one of the woman’s sisters also blamed her for all the drama and warned her that if “my parents aren’t included, she won’t be there either."

Reddit users tell woman to cut off her family

Social media users stood by the woman in the comment section as one Redditor commented, “NTA. You can tolerate whatever you like but I hope you aren’t going to expose your little burden of sin to these judgmental AHs.”

Another wrote, “Respect cannot be one sided, family or not. You're not the AH. Mom's about to learn a hard lesson, judgemental people get judgement in return. Good luck. ❤”

Someone else said, “NTA. I'm sorry this is so painful for you now - but the trash is clearly taking itself out. Just imagine what these people might say to your daughter when you're not around, or when she's older. Nobody needs that. I hope you have a beautiful, happy wedding day with your true family, and continue to live a joyful and fulfilling life with Joey and your daughter (and possible future kids).”

“NTA. Your sister is flat out wrong. We can disagree with the choices of someone we love without behaving like your mother. Her behaviour was, quite simply, hateful and unchristian. Judge not…” a comment read.

“Nope, nope, nope. You are not the AH. One basic tenant of Christianity is forgives (not that you need it), but your family ISS holding your feet to the fire (of hell). Go low contact with the all. Celebrate your Fiancé’s family and have a wonderful life,” another comment said.

An individual added, “NTA!!! I would go no contact immediately, for the sake of your sanity and your child’s. Sounds like your fiance and future in-laws are a great support system and all the family you need right now!”

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