'AITA for telling my partner I’m done if he loses yet another job?'

A woman turned to the internet for advice about her longtime, job-hopping boyfriend. Posting on the ever-popular Am I The A*****e? (AITA) subreddit, she laid out her situation in detail. A ten years of financial and emotional exhaustion, she’d had enough. She told her 34-year-old partner that if he lost yet another job, she was done.

The original poster (OP) titled her post: “AITAH for telling my partner that if he loses this job then I’m done with the relationship?”

A woman’s ultimatum to unemployed partner

OP set the scene right out of the gate.

"My partner (M34) and I (F29) have been together for 10 years and during that time I have lost count of the amount of jobs he has had. Each time losing them after only a few months," she began. "I have supported us financially and made sure that I worked enough to cover the bills (I work 50 hours a week and I am slowly becoming physically and mentally drained from it)."

And just when it looked like things might turn around, the cycle started all over again.

"He is currently in the probation period of a new job (working with a relative of mine) yet has already rang in sick 2 and was late once. He attempted to phone in again this morning saying he wasn’t sure if he was going to be sick," she continued.

That was the final straw for OP. She begged him to take his probation seriously, warning that he was on thin ice.

"I explained to him it’s better to go to work and be sent home sometimes and that he was still in his probation period if he wasn’t careful he would be fired. He just kept saying that he won’t lose the job as there is no one else at work to do his job (not true as I know other people can do it)," OP said.

Frustrated, she snapped. "I admit I became a little angry and told him no he was going to work even if I had to put him in the taxi myself and that if he lost this job like all the others then I was done," OP concluded.

Internet offers its verdict

The Reddit jury wasted no time in delivering its judgment, and the overwhelming consensus was NTA (not the a**hole).

"NTA. Sounds like you have a mooch instead of a partner, and you have put up with it for 10 years too many," one responded.

"The road will be hard, but I GUARANTEE you it will be harder if you stay with him. A childhood friend of mine in a similar circumstance was married to a man for 28 years until she finally left him. After the breakup she figured he'd worked a sum total of 4 years during the marriage and each time he quit or was let go it was always someone else's fault, sometimes he even blamed her. NTA," another wrote.

Then came a 72-year-old commenter with decades of experience.

"OP, you can't "fix" this, and you aren't responsible to do so. I'm 72 this month, and I finally got smart after being married to a slouch for 14 years! Looking back, it was THE biggest mistake of my life, and it cost me dearly - financially, physically, and mentally. It's been 36 years, and I'm never making that mistake again. Please save yourself!" they advised.

"Why has he lost all these other jobs? Is he lazy? Does he have a legitimate medical diagnosis? Does he have problems dealing with people? What is the problem? It sounds like he needs therapy. And you probably do, too. This relationship has no future. He clearly thinks he won't be fired because he's working for your dad. Eventually, people won't hire him because he can't keep a job. He needs to realize this. And you need to stop coddling him. He's a loser, and you've enabled him for 10 years. Time to stop now," someone else chimed in.

"NTA! While it isn't okay to expect a certain salary, it's totally acceptable to expect your partner to be able to hold a job. And if he can't channel his energy into that after you outline how important this is for your relationship, then sadly, it will be time to move on," another offered.

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