AITA: Internet backs new mom who faces criticism from husband for being ‘bad wife’ during maternity leave
Sharing isn’t just about dividing material possessions; it also involves sharing responsibilities. When couples work together and exchange tasks, they often begin a smoother, more harmonious phase. However, if the balance is disrupted, it can lead to tension and strain in the relationship.
A 27-year-old new mom recently faced these challenges as she tried to care for her 7-week-old baby girl, manage the household, and attend to her dog and family members—including her husband, Mark, and mother-in-law, Susan.
Struggling through maternity leave alone: A mother’s perspective
A Reddit post shared on the "Am I the A*****e" forum by a user named EuphoricWitness755, titled "AITA for Expecting My Husband to Do ‘My Job’ While I’m on Maternity Leave?", details a mother’s struggles.
The original poster began, "I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I’m drowning, but maybe I’m the one at fault for expecting too much. I’m 27F and a first-time mom to a 7-week-old baby girl Daisy. She’s beautiful, but she cries all the time. The doctors call it colic, but it feels like I must be doing something wrong. Isn’t a mother supposed to be able to comfort her child? I can’t even manage that."
She added: "The past few weeks have been a blur of pain, exhaustion, and failure. My C-section scar still throbs when I move too much, and sleep is a distant memory. I don’t remember the last time I slept more than two hours in a row. My husband, Mark (31M), tells me I’m overreacting. He works long hours and says he needs his rest, so I do the nights alone. Every feeding, every diaper change, every midnight sobbing session (both hers and mine)—it’s all me."
New mom opens up about chaos caused by mother-in-law and dog
The new mom then described the chaos caused by her mother-in-law, Susan, who moved in three weeks ago following a dispute with her father-in-law: "She has taken over the living room, refuses to help with the baby because 'that’s your job,' and makes passive-aggressive comments about how I’m not keeping the house clean enough. I thought it would be temporary, but she shows no sign of leaving."
She added, "She has been treating me like a live-in maid. She doesn’t cook for herself or for anyone else. Instead, she’ll drop hints like, 'It’d be nice if there were some tea,' while I’m juggling a screaming baby. Yesterday, she had friends over for 'book club,' and they spent the afternoon laughing loudly and commenting on how messy the house was."
Her struggles were further compounded by the family dog, who seemed to be making a mess everywhere. "Mark refuses to help because it was “my idea” to get a dog in the first place. Between cleaning up after him, trying to soothe a baby who won’t stop crying, and keeping the house somewhat livable, I feel like I’m losing my mind."
New mom expresses her health struggles
In addition to the family chaos, she was hit with a 102°F fever the previous week and could barely stand, let alone take care of the baby. "I begged Mark to take a day off to help, but he said work was too busy. That night, he ordered takeout for himself, ate in the living room with Susan, and didn’t even ask if I wanted anything."
The situation reached its breaking point the next day: "The baby was screaming, the laundry machine broke mid-cycle, the dog threw up on the couch, and Susan decided to host another “book club” without asking me. I hadn’t eaten all day, and I was shaking from exhaustion. I begged Mark to ask his mom to leave or at least help me get through the day. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, 'You’re the one on maternity leave. What else do you have to do?'"
The mother concluded, "I don’t remember what I said back, but it doesn’t matter. He stormed out, leaving me with the mess, the baby, and Susan glaring at me like I was the problem. Later, she told me I was a bad wife for upsetting him and that I should be grateful he works so hard for us."
She finished with, "I feel like I’m failing—at being a mom, a wife, a person. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m selfish for expecting help. Maybe I’m a bad mother because I can’t stop my baby from crying. Maybe this is all my fault. I don’t know anymore. AITAH?"
Internet supports mom facing lack of help from husband
Reddit commenters criticized the new mom's husband and mother-in-law for adding chaos instead of offering support during her maternity leave.
A user commented, “Pack your bags, take your kid and leave them. He is a bad husband, deadbeat and you MIL is toxic Divorce his a*s cause it will only get worse.”
An individual wrote, “Pack your bags and do what is right for you and the baby and leave Don't let him manipulate you. He is selfish and acts like a child (you already have one you don't need another one) you don't need another whiney baby to take care of.”
A person on Reddit said, “Girl you should leave. This is crazy! Doing this just you and baby will be so much easier than with those two assholes. NTA.”
“You're not failing as a mother but your husband is failing you in every way possible,” a social media user commented.
One questioned, “NTA. Can you move in with a friend or family member who actually cares about you?”
Finally, a person suggested, “NTA, but you need to kick out husband and MIL. I don't care he works long hours, and he's the parent too. Horrible people, but I'd tell her to GTFO. If your mother is around, I'd take a trip there.”
This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.
