AITA: Internet backs woman who files emergency custody order as stepchildren grow bitter toward her son

Marrying someone who has children from a previous relationship requires one to be ready to accept the entire package. While some people do this with grace and ease, others fall short.

Under the username AbjectComfort4893, one stepmother received more than she expected. The Original Poster (OP) explained on Reddit’s 'Am I The A*****e' (AITA) forum why she left her husband and "filed for an emergency custody hearing" after her stepchildren turned "hateful" toward her 3-year-old son.

Woman reveals how her stepchildren turned 'incredibly hateful' toward her 3.5-year-old son

The 30-year-old woman began describing her situation on Reddit by writing: "My husband and I (both 30s) married 5 years ago. Together we have a 3.5 year old son and he has an 11 year old daughter and a 9 year old son with his ex."

She explained that things with her husband's ex were "strained. She had three other children with a former partner who are 8, 7 and 6."

The OP added that her husband's ex-wife died a year ago and for them "it was sudden but she knew she was sick, she'd told the kids she was sick, and had told my stepkids not to tell us."

The woman detailed that her husband "signed us up to take his ex's three children... without discussing it" with her because the mother's ex-partner was not involved in the lives of the kids they had together and none of her relatives came forward.

The woman called it an issue for the OP and wrote: "This was an issue for me. We argued about it and ended up talking about it a lot. I tried to work through it to not cause more upheaval for my stepkids or to pull my son's family apart."

The OP described how the mother's sudden death changed her step-children. "They were bitter toward me and hateful toward their younger brother and their younger siblings have also been incredibly hateful toward us both and there were dangerous things happening," the OP shared.

She added: "My husband carried on working and left me to do most of the parenting and he knew that would be the case before this. The case worker we had was helping with resources for therapy and grief support groups but I had to document several incidents where one of the kids tried to harm my son, there were open threats made to harm him also."

The OP was mostly by myself with them, though my husband would assist her when he was at home.

"My stepdaughter told me a couple of months ago that her mom had hated me and they (she and her brother) used to love me but their mom knew I was bad and she raised her other kids to hate me," the OP revealed.

She said, "My stepdaughter also said her mom told her that my son was never their brother and they should never consider him equal to her kids. She said this to the case worker too."

OP files for 'emergency custody hearing' and 'working out divorce'

Eventually, the OP decided to leave her husband and file for an emergency custody hearing. "The bio father of the other kids started paying child support but money isn't what I needed. It reached a point where I could not leave my son out of my sight," she wrote.

When the OP told her husband that she was going to tell the case worker that having the other three children was too much, he refused to do any more and argued.

"He told me I'd make things worse if I did that and my stepkids would never forgive me or my son," the OP said.

After speaking with the case worker and receiving her report, I filed for an emergency custody hearing, separated from her husband, and obtained temporary physical custody based on the case worker's evidence.

"My husband cannot see our son and I am working out the divorce," the OP wrote.

Explaining her husband's reaction, the OP wrote: "Of course he's angry and he told me I should have talked to him more first. But our son's safety is my #1 concern while he's worried my stepkids will hate him for separating them from the other three."

She explained that his husband's parents, with whom she had always gotten along, were also upset and accused her of acting sloppily. "They said this even though they witnessed the harm my son was at risk of," she added.

The OP concluded her post by asking the Reddit forum, "I hate that it reached this point but I couldn't keep my son in that house anymore. But AITA for my actions?"

Netizens support OP for 'protecting' her son

Redditors backed the OP's decision to leave her husband while filing for an emergency custody hearing and obtain temporary physical custody to protect her son.

One user called the woman an NTA and said, "NTA. No where near the ah. Never the AH for protecting your son. Your soon to be ex is the AH for causing this situation without discussing it with you. You tried talking to him. Talking did t work. And his parents can kick rocks. Protect your son. Period."

A second user wrote in part, "NTA Like this is absolutely hysterical! Husband unilaterally decided to take in those kids without talking to OP. BUT the minute SHE unilaterally made a decision? And now SHE is a horrible person to do something SO sleazy!"

"NTA. What else has he expected you to do? Wait until your son is hurt at least twice? No. He hasn't discussed taking those kids at all with you but you have tried. Unfortunately it's even worse than expected. Protect your son," a third user remarked.

Another wrote, "NTA, did you tell his parents it was sleezy that their son took in these kids without even telling you and left you holding the bag?? You should have left his ass when he brought in the kids without telling you. Good for you. You keep on and forget what anyone else says. The bio fathers should have taken back their kids. Shows how little their cared about their own kids. Too bad these kids can't see that but unfortunately it may be years before they realize you were not the bad guy. You always protect your child at all costs."

"NTA So your husband essentially put you in the position of raising 6 children, three of them are not even related to him, without even discussing it with you in advance. It’s an unfortunate situation for the children on so many levels, but your one and only priority is the safety of your child. You did the right thing," said one.

One said, "NTA, no matter what the safety of you and your son are the most important, and your husband is showing you he doesn’t care enough. You’ve expressed it many times, but now that you’re actually doing something about it he wants to cry that you didn’t talk enough- no, he just didn’t listen. Of course HIS family will side with him, DO NOT listen to them. You are married to (and currently divorcing) him, not his parents."

Another wrote, "NTA you did talk to him he just didn't listen. You gave him far more courtesy than he gave you when brought home and dumped the children on you."

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.