AITA: Internet divided as son leaves elderly parents to struggle to support his wife

The relationship between a child and the parents is a sweet bond that is expected to change with time. While most foresee a loving future, things can sometimes spiral out of control, affecting other relationships, especially when parents act entitled or attempt to take undue advantage of their children.

Recently, a man on Reddit's popular "Am I the A*****e" forum shared an incident where he had no other option but to leave his elderly parents to struggle to support his wife.

Man and wife downgrade lifestyle to help his parents financially

The man explained that he and his wife "moved in to help his parents financially because they struggled with bills on their retirement income."

He added that his wife hated it as it was a downgrade from their lifestyle and a significant downgrade from what she was used to. They even went as far as to rent out their home, so they had income from that.

However, his mother continued to be difficult and would complain about how his wife eats too extravagantly.

The original poster (OP) explained, "Even though my wife was buying the groceries. We started to go out of town for weekends, because we needed a break. For some reason, my mom started taking up the only shower when she knew my wife had to leave for work. On multiple occasions, this caused my wife to be late for work."

He added that his father doesn't do much because he has his own old-fashioned views on cooking and cleaning and they both choose to hate on his wife for having a career.

Man leaves elderly parents to fend for themselves as wife gets sick of fighting

Finally, the wife got sick of fighting with his parents over a shower and rented a small studio near her work. The man also started staying there more often and shared that he enjoys the peace away from his parents.

"I told my parents I’m done supporting them and the house after a crazy high electricity bill when my mom will forget to close windows during the day but blast the AC. I decided it’s time for me to join my wife in the studio," further wrote the Redditor. 

He added, "My parents don't know how they can afford bills, food, and things like insurance and taxes. I told them maybe they need to downsize or sell the home. They said they would if we let them have the home we are renting and I explained that on top of rent for the studio that home still has a mortgage."

The man's parents weren't having it though as his mother soon came after his wife saying she needed to downgrade her lifestyle. However, OP put his foot down and told his parents "I think you guys should try that because I will no longer be giving them ANY money and they have to manage themselves."

He even suggested his parents try to get jobs to support themselves, which wasn't well received by them. 

"My dad asked what was he supposed to do and I told him seasonal holiday hiring is coming up and they need get part time jobs if they can’t make ends meet. My parents act like I’m evil for suggesting this but it's really their only option to keep the lights on and food on the table," the OP concluded. 

Redditors divided as man leaves elderly parents to struggle to support his wife

Redditors had mixed reactions to OP's post. While most thought he did the right thing by siding with his wife, others said he could have found another way to help his parents financially.  

One commented, "Your parents act entitled and vindictively toward the people helping them. When you bite the hand that feeds, it doesn’t take long for the hand to disappear. NTA."

Another wrote, "YTA - to your wife. You need boundaries with your parents and you need to stand up to them."

"Geeerrzzz. You should have sided with your wife much much sooner bro. Damn," shared a person. 

Meanwhile, one remarked, "ESH – except your wife. Your parents are bigger AHS, but you should have had your wife’s back a lot sooner. As in, as soon as your parents started making unwelcome comments."

"NTA. Spitefulness really pisses me off. Your mum could wait to shower after your wife is done, or left for work," pointed out a user. 

One stated. "Why can’t you help your parents from a distance? I get they’re not 'your responsibility' but you put your wife in an impossible situation when you could’ve just sent them a set amount of money each month to make ends meet. Makes no sense. You’re going to get it all back anyways when they die and sell off the house."

"You may not see this, but remember when you were a kid your parents could've abandoned you, could've let you in a care home, could've made you work your stay. Now that your roles are reverserd remember the amount of crap you put them through and they bared do the same bro," expressed another who wasn't in support of the OP. 

A Redditor bluntly put it, "I don’t agree with choosing your partner. At all. Partners come and go, these people gave you life." 

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.