AITA: Woman files for divorce as husband accuses her of baby-trapping him after seven years of marriage

Seven years of marriage, one planned pregnancy, and a fairytale romance where "he lived next door" and "just clicked"—what could possibly go wrong? A pregnant woman revealed on Reddit how she is now planning to divorce her husband after he accused her of baby-trapping him. 

This week, the internet served readers a piping-hot Am I The A****** post on Reddit by a user named "ThrowRATucanTucans" who thought her life was great until Geoff, her husband’s friend, had been “baby-trapped.” Suddenly, her husband started seeing traps everywhere too!

The question that shook OP's marriage 

One thing the OP has always thought that made their "marriage so strong" was their "friendship with each other" and "trust in one another". However, now her husband "seems to think otherwise."

Her husband had recently discovered that his friend Geoff had been “baby-trapped.” Geoff’s "wife stopped taking the pill and fell pregnant a few months into their relationship, and only came clean after the wedding."

Geoff, bound by his conservative upbringing, "also now feels obligated to stay regardless of the clearly messed up dynamic because he feels that he has made a vow and will stick by his wife and child."

Her husband, "rattled" by Geoff’s situation, began questioning her motives by asking her "if I was trying to baby trap him." Four months pregnant with their first child, she had laughed at his question, thinking it was a joke. But he was serious. Dead serious.

“I told him that we have already been married for seven years and a baby was not going to ‘trap him’ any more than he already is,” she recounted. But her husband doubled down, saying, “There is no time limit on baby trapping and that my intentions were clearly not pure given how I was acting as if his concerns were a joke.”

He accused her of having “impure intentions” and declared that her laughter at his concerns gave him “no reason to trust” her anymore.

From fairytale beginnings to unfair accusations

The OP told her husband, "I did not really know what he wanted or how I was meant to respond, and I said we should talk about this in the morning."

The next morning, she woke up to find him gone. To make matters worse, the OP "did have a nasty text from his brother (M28) saying that I had forced my husband into this pregnancy."

Consequently, with her husband missing in action and refusing to respond to calls, she turned to Reddit for advice.

While she initially felt confused and hurt, she later realized and conveyed in an update post, “I wasn’t angry enough. My husband had insulted me and our marriage in a very hurtful way and it just didn't really register for a while," before adding, "I was so confused and upset that it didn't occur to me to be angry, but I think everything just needed to sink in."

Her best friend swooped in like a hero, furious on her behalf. “She has been such a rock in my life,” the OP said. The best friend didn’t come alone—she called her lawyer husband, who offered to draft divorce papers.

Op mentioned, "He is a family lawyer, and he said that he would happily represent me if I wanted to go through with a divorce. This man is a saint, and will draw up divorce papers on Monday."

Mother-in-law vs her 'worm of a husband' son 

Just as things seemed to spiral, her mother-in-law showed up with her runaway husband in tow and "practically dragged him to the door." Apparently, he had turned up at his parents’ house the night before, insisting the OP "was using the baby to trap him.”

But the mother-in-law wasn’t having it as she is a "smart woman."

She “absolutely tore him a new one before dragging him to the house today to apologize." However, the apology from her "worm of a husband" was less than inspiring.

Even though he "did not look me in the eye the entire time," he admitted to "being scared about becoming a dad" and “projecting his fears” onto her. Then came the pièce de résistance, “He said he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that kind of commitment, but he will step up (as if he is some kind of hero—eye roll).”

She didn’t hold back. “I called him a coward and told him that he should stay with his parents until I am ready to talk to him.” Divorce papers? Oh, he’d find out soon enough.

Before sending him off, she showed her mother-in-law the nasty text from her brother-in-law. “Her face was like a storm cloud,” the OP said, and whatever happened next in that family was bound to be dramatic.

Picking up the pieces, one movie night at a time

Now, the OP is left to pick up the pieces. "Exhausted" and just wanting "to curl up and cry," her "best friend has said she'll spend the night" with her and "watch silly movies." She also scheduled an appointment with a therapist, knowing she needed to prioritize herself and her baby.

“I am exhausted and devastated that my marriage has come crumbling down,” she admitted. Still, one thing was clear: while her husband questioned her intentions, she was the one stepping up—no eye roll needed. She ends with, "Sorry for the sad ending, everyone!"

Final thoughts from Reddit: Who’s the real AITA?

As the husband accused his wife of “baby-trapping” him during a planned pregnancy, Redditors couldn’t help but weigh in with a mix of humor, outrage, and support, without a definite conclusion if she is the AITA or otherwise. 

One Redditor wrote, "Hey listen, the man wanted proof his wife wasn't baby trapping him. Can't think of a better way to prove it than divorce, he should be thrilled."

Another added, "Husband: "Let's have a baby!" Husband too: "How dare you baby-trap me!""

Someone else noted, "Please, at some point, can OOP or her MIL point out just how not trapped he is? 100% free to leave and he has exercised that right. Just didn't think the door would lock behind him."

One person remarked, "I like to imagine that MIL dragged son by the ear. She seems the bad a** kind."

Another declared, "I feel bad for OP, imagine finding out who your husband really is when you’re pregnant. She’s the trapped one in this situation."

One individual observed, "Exactly! If anyone is trapped is her. Even after divorce she will still have to deal with the asshole at least until the kid grows up."

Another explained, "Jeez, the husband and his bother are real peaches. Sad OP had to find out her husband was such a loser after getting pregnant."

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