'He's clearly hiding something': Jon Stewart goes all in on Trump’s puffy ankles, hand bruises
WASHINGTON, DC: Jon Stewart took aim at swirling rumors that President Donald Trump had died during Monday, September 8, episode of 'The Daily Show.'
The host, returning from a month-long vacation, poked fun at the heightened public scrutiny surrounding the president’s absence from the public eye.
Jon Stewart mocks rumors of Trump’s death on ‘The Daily Show’
“Now, normally, as many of you may know who’ve been on this planet for a few rotations, August is considered a relatively quiet month for political doings. But as we have been told many, many times, this ain't normal,” Stewart said. He added that recent events—including economic slowdowns, rising inflation, Trump’s meeting with Putin in Alaska, and celebrity engagements—have made the summer anything but ordinary.
“So I’m going to try and catch you up since we’ve been gone: The economy hit a brick wall, stalling on jobs, while inflation continued to rise. So Trump met with Putin in Alaska to force Ukraine to accept Cracker Barrel’s new logo, while Labubu released a new Epstein file. And Taylor got engaged. It’s a blur,” he joked.
Despite the chaos, Stewart noted, “But all of it takes a backseat to continuing concerns over the president’s health. We haven’t really seen much of the president over the last week. Basically absent from the public eye. He’s clearly hiding something about his health. The hashtag ‘Trump is dead’ trended on social media.”
Jon Stewart discusses Trump’s health
Stewart reassured viewers that “Trump is alive” but raised questions about his physical condition, pointing to reports of chronic venous insufficiency (CVI). According to the Society for Vascular Surgery, CVI occurs when vein valves fail, causing blood to pool in the legs and increasing pressure on vein walls.
“Guy can't take a few days for some R and R and a non-surgical breast reduction without everybody suddenly pulling out the toe tags on the president,” Stewart joked. “It does say something about the ubiquity of Donald Trump in our lives that we don't hear from him for 20 minutes, and we're like, ‘He's dead. I think he's — check, can we track him?’ It's: ‘Well, how do you know he's dead?’ ‘Well, it's been seven minutes since the word ‘newsscum’ has come up on my feed. He must be dead.’”
He continued, “Although I definitely would not go so far as to say alive and kicking; something is up with his health.”
The comedian also referenced visible signs of the condition, including swollen ankles and bruised hands, joking that the president’s “meat bag” was experiencing “drainage issues.” Clips shown on the program highlighted attempts to cover discoloration with makeup, prompting Stewart to quip, “It’s not like you can treat leprosy at Sephora.”
He added that areas of the body not visible to the public might be even worse, describing Trump as potentially looking “full Grimace: blotchy hands, puffy ankles.”
Jon Stewart ridicules Trump’s pampering
Stewart satirized how Donald Trump’s inner circle and visitors appear eager to indulge him. Footage played on the show included moments where Trump was allowed to touch the FIFA World Cup trophy, received a US Marshal badge, and was humorously suggested for a “Nobel Prize variety pack” spanning multiple categories.
Stewart joked that even Supreme Court actions were presented as gifts granting extreme powers, such as nullifying the Fourth Amendment.
“I’m beginning to think Trump isn’t a benign suffering child at all,” Stewart said. “I’m beginning to think everybody treats Trump like this, not because he’s the Make-A-Wish kid, but because he’s that Twilight Zone kid that anytime somebody made him mad, he sent them out to the cornfield.”
Closing the segment, Stewart warned of the consequences of a “nation held hostage by the fragile ego of a man-baby president, who may or may not be dying of hand syphilis, but is puffy—and who we’re trapped with for at least three more years—in the Twilight Zone.”
