John Oliver makes case for why he might believe JD Vance couch rumor

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK: John Oliver dedicated the opening segment of the latest episode of 'Last Week Tonight' to discussing the 2024 presidential race, but he spent a significant amount of his time on the couch rumor haunting Republican vice presidential nominee JD Vance. 

The English comedian, who is an open critic of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, explained why he believed the rumor could be true.

"JD Vance sucks so much that it says something that for a few days this week, the internet ran wild with a joke tweet that he was the first VP pick to have admitted in a New York Times bestseller to f*****g an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions, with a citation to a page number from his memoir," said the host on his HBO show, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

After Trump named Vace as his running mate, rumors have been rife about the Ohio senator having sex with his couch, which is said to stem from his 2016 memoir 'Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis'.

John Oliver points out why it's easy to believe the JD Vance couch rumor 

Pointing out that JD Vance's book doesn't contain any mention of him having sex with a couch, John Oliver gave two reasons why the rumor spread rapidly.

He said, "It is not in his book, but I think the reason it spreads so fast might be that A, nobody read that f****g book, and B, it was incredibly easy to believe, because if you ask me to draw a man that f***s his couch, 10 times out of 10, I’m drawing this guy," pointing to a photo of the Ohio Republican."

Oliver added, "If you ask me to play Two Truths and a Lie with this man ...  Before he even opens his mouth, I shout, 'The truth is he f***s his couch!’ I’ve never seen someone with more couch-f****r energy."

The HBO host further joked that he would believe it if he were told Vance's "first celebrity crush was the plastic sofa from Everybody Loves Raymond," and added, "If you told me the reason you find coins in between couch cushions is because JD Vance always leaves a tip, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, that sounds right."

Oliver pointed out that the rumor gained global attention, with a Norwegian news outlet running the headline "Hadde ikke sex med sofa," which he humorously implied "sounds like a sign they had to put up in IKEA after JD visited too much."

John Oliver says he will assume the couch rumor to be true until JD Vance officially denies it

John Oliver also cited the Associated Press fact check on the article "No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch," which the outlet later removed. The link then directed internet users to a message stating "page unavailable" and explaining that the report did not go through the outlet's "standard editing process." 

Referring to it, the comedian stated, "No s**t it didn’t because there’s an obvious problem with that original headline And the reason I know that is we care a lot about facts and precise phrasing on this show. So I can tell you, you can't say JD Vance didn't have sex with a couch definitively."

He added, "You can say that he didn’t write about doing that in his book because that is provable, but that’s not the same as asserting he never f****d a couch, especially because he hasn't officially denied it."

Subsequently, the 'Last Week Tonight' host hilariously recalled the response his team got from Vance's campaign when they inquired whether he ever had sex with a couch. He said, "They — and this is true — hung up on us, which is, and this is critical, not a 'no,' is it?" 

Admitting the 2024 race would be unpredictable with so many variables, Oliver declared that he would assume Vance "f****d a couch" until the VP nominee tells otherwise.